Well I’m 18 my partner of 3 years ( fiance now plan to marry next year ). Currently we are living abroad saving alot of money and planning on doing some travelling before we head home early next year. Assuming it takes about 6 months to fall pregnant I would have my baby when I am 19. I love my fiance and I really want a big family with him kind of the reason I want to try so young. My partner is joining the Army and I am planning on developing property ( I have some money from my gran for a deposit on a house ). Also one thing I keep thinking is my grandfather is getting very old very fast and im not sure how much longer he will live and I think it would be so precious for him to at least meet one great great grandchild ( as there are none others yet in the family ) I really feel this would be amazing an amazing gift for him. I feel as ready as I could ever be.
So what do you think?
Am I being naive?
Is it silly to want a baby so my grandad can meet him/her?
Some advice thanks.
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My son constantly talked about Pop Pop (my husband’s grandfather) when he was about 2-3 years old – Pop Pop was dead for 6 years before he was born and my son’s words made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. He was also born on the anniversary of the day my grandmother died – and two weeks earlier than his due date. I think your grandad will take care of things himself. No need to have the baby before he dies.
19 is too young…it is the time to be self centered and use the time wisely to set yourself up for life so you can feel great being able to provide for your awesome little one when he or she comes into your life years later.
I assume the question is what do you wish to have on your future? Due to the fact that having a profession or going to school is way, far more complex after getting a baby. Peculiarly for the first 6 years. Doesn’t mean that it is unattainable just complicated. You’re going to be pulled in many course (education and/or profession) and you’ll have the pull of wanting to be residence in your little one. So if you do not want a profession, or at least on for many years. And you do not want to move to school, then i suppose having a little one is high-quality. Nevertheless, i would get married first. As marriage protects you and your youngster if there was a foul damage up and even if so horrible accident or anything happened to your SO. I say if you’re careworn then wait. Most probably this one time unprotected didn’t intent being pregnant. There’s no damage in ready for a even as. You might be so younger you could have plenty of time.
not sure why you’re assuming it will take 6 months to get pregnant. could take a single try. is that in your plan about the savings and the travel and so on?
of all the reasons to have a baby at a particular time, trying to boost the odds that an aging grandfather will get to meet them is a really weak one. you are going to have this child for the rest of your life, and the timing you choose to have it is going to impact your finances, your opportunities, your relationship with your fiance, and potentially the course of your child’s entire life. i can virtually assure you that your grandfather would be happier knowing you chose the timing that was otherwise optimal for the baby and for you. (and of course unless he’s terminally ill, it’s always possible he’ll still meet your baby five years down the line.)
of course some people have kids at 18 or 19 and it turns out okay. but why go there if you don’t have to? it’s not maximizing your baby’s odds, and being a parent is about doing everything you can to maximize your baby’s odds. besides, you get only a very short time in life to focus on yourself, your relationship, your career, travel, etc. when you have a baby, it will be all about the them … for decades. don’t take that on prematurely just so grandad can hold the baby for an hour. honestly, it’s a bad trade.
*eta — i’ll just add since you said one reason you want to try so young is to have a big family that i have four kids (one at a time — no twins) and had my first at 29.
Yeah, 6 months to get pregnant? That’s what I figured too. Until i was pregnant the next month after only a week of trying.
Forget about your grandpa for a minute. He shouldn’t even be a factor in this.
Are you prepared to give up travelling? A social life? Your personal time and space?
Are you prepared to revolve your life around someone else?
Do YOU want a child?
Do you have a house, stable income, means of transportation?
Are you prepared to do it by yourself when your boyfriend is gone?
In fact, why is he your boyfriend? Can’t you guys commit yourself to each other before you commit to creating a human being? You plan to marry next year…. Is that while your pregnant?
I will add, in all fairness, my husband and I had our first at 20. She was planned and I wouldn’t change a thing. However, we were settled, we were married, did some travelling and were 1% prepared for what parenting had in store. When we thought about having kids, it wasn’t ‘so grandpa could meet them’. It was to provide love and support, encouragement and guidance, be there through the thick and thin. We thought about the massive amount of diapers. We thought about the effect on our married life, social life and financial life. We thought about being sleep deprived. We took all these things into account. You can easily make it work at 19, if you are wise about it and if you really want this …… But based on your question you are Not thinking about Any of the realistics about parenting. It’s not easy, especially by yourself, and that baby is not a baby for very long.
It’s not the best reason to have a baby.My papa died when my son was almost 4 months old,he never met him.It happens,it’s called Life.Concentrate on the time you have left with your grandfather.You sound like you are quite sensible and have a plan for your life,why rush it?Your loved ones never leave you anyway,I’ve always had the sense that my papa is still around looking after my son.Probably not what you want to hear but just live a little before you settle down – I will always regret not doing any travelling before I became a mum.My life has changed.Be selfish for a little while because once you have kids,you can’t
If you and your fiance are financially stable (which it sounds like you are) and have everything all planed this out than yes i think that a baby at 19 is ok.
Don’t listen to these other people….if you two are financially set and ready to have a baby than it does not matter what are you are (within reason, i would not think that anyone under the age of 18 would be ready to have a baby).
but just make sure that is what you want because after you get pregnant you can not take it back and that baby will be a part of you for the rest of your life, which is not a bad thing in my opinion.
Good luck with the new family 🙂
Source(s): mother of 4
I had my first when i was 19
My great grandma isn’t doing so great, but at 22 I’m in no rush to give her a great great grandchild.
As far as having kids while he’s going in the army… Find an army wife and talk to her. Ask her what it was like having her husband deployed when her firstborn was born. Ask her what it’s like explaining to the kids that daddy is leaving for 8 months again. This is close to home for me- my best friend just had her first son, and her husband is somewhere over near Africa. Take that time to have fun and live your own life, and have kids when hubby comes home.
It’s a dumb idea to have one at that age by choice, yes. Your reasons aren’t very good ones for doing it either. Are you being naive? Yes. Is it silly to want a baby so your grandad can meet them? Yes. I’m telling you this is as someone who was brought into this world by 19 year old parent and it sure wasn’t any picnic a lot of the time.
Yes, you’re a teenager and have a lot of life you should experience before you become a parent. You will be a totally different person by the time you are 25. Hold off.