im really confused and dont know what todo with myself. I got married three and half years ago and moved to denmark. Within this year my husband told me he cheated on me. And he’s sorry blah blah blah. Has he done it again,i dont know. I don’t think I can really trust him. I feel so alone, he sits on the damn computer day and night. He doesnt trying having one conversation with me and its like i’m not even here. I feel like im wasting my time. I go to school and work. He doesnt work right now. I just dont get it.
Open Question
He doesn’t work, sits on the computer all day, and cheats on you? Loser…
Go to a counselor together, or leave. Nothing will change.
dump his a..
cheating is one thing you should never tolerate. leave his a$$
Move all your stuff out one day and leave him with the computer to turn into a fat bald slob.
the marriage is over unless some work is done. the issue about letting you know he has been with someone else and the fact that he is on the computer day and night is what is called “leaving by staying.” this is a common ocurrence in many couples when one or both build interests on their own without sharing them with the other. its essentially not being in the house even though they are not physically gone.
either engage in couples therapy, if not you can go on your own to deal with the feelings of betrayal, or if that is not your route, then call it quits unless you are willing to put everything negative behind and put all your effort in fixing the marriage. the choice is yours. whatever you believe in the end is going to make you happy, then that should be your course of action. however, bear in mind, that when we are hurt, we are still vulnerable of not taking the best rational choice, because our logic is obscured by feelings. addtionally, there is always the chance that your husband might feeling guilty and not able to confront the situation face to face.
whatever you do i wish you peace and good luck
You said it. You are wasting your time. I gather you have no kids together? Be glad for that! Get out!
Well that is kinda of hard and if you are just starting like this i don’t think is going the right direction i think first go to him and tell him that both need to talk because you are not going to waste your time waiting to see when he wants to hang with you, and there let him know that if the marriage is going to work he needs to develop the trust you had for him before he lie to you. i don’t understand why tell you he cheated that’s sounds kinda harsh if you didn’t know anything.sometimes is better not knowing.and if you see no change in him because i would think after telling you something so serious like that he should be kissing your ***, If nothing changes i think you should move on because you are going to continue feeling like if you are just there but he doesn’t notice. Marriage is a commitment to each other to spend time to laugh together to make plans together to enjoy each other. not for you to sit there and him on a computer.He needs to wake up . good luck
the fact that he told you about the betrayal … ‘but then makes no attempt to make it up to you (not that there is truly anything that can make up for that) and no attempt to make himself a better person … says a lot … you can’t make this work on your own … it takes 2 people to make a marriage work …
it’s easier said than done … but maybe it’s time you move on … unless you’re willing to put 5% and get only 5% from his end …
you should of left his a** a long time ago you deserve better
he sounds like hes begging you to divorce him actions speak louder than words