‘Million Miles Away’
Do see me standing in front of you, in front of you, I’m in front of you. But it’s like I’m a milllion miles away, million miles away, it’s like standing in space a different race from a different place, but I’m so close to you, standing so close to you. I’m too close to you and I’m too close you, and maybe if you just open up your eyes maybe you’ll see through the skies through the skies, if you just open your eyes. But there’s space between us damn you Einstein and damn you jesus and it’s like do you love me to, do you love me to?, but to scared to ask you because I love you.
? Favorite Answer
Meh. I’m not a fan of the repetitiveness, and the last two lines, you used “to” where you should have used “too” three times. It should be: ” …do you love me too, do you love me too?, but too scared to ask…”
It’s not terrible, just not my kind of poetry.
You need to make up your mind whether you are a “million miles away” or “too close to you”. You can’t be both.
Not too sure what Jesus has done to upset you.
Ditch the word “like”, as we get the poetic hyperbole of “a million miles”.