Do guys realise that if they want a woman who has a low number of partners, she might also have a low sex driv?

Not to mention … most of the women I know who have had very few partners did so because they were the types who went out looking for a new boyfriend while still with the old one. Serial monogamists who are terrified of being single … which is a whole ‘nother can of worms.

Some of the women I know who have a high number of partners, however, also did so because they have low self esteem and have trouble connecting to men in other ways. I don’t necessarily think that number of partners has much to do with sex drive, but the “kind” of partners does say something about a person. However, I think people from all histories should be given a fair chance if they are working on their issues. Judging someone for something they did in their teens when you’re in your thirties is downright ridiculous.

But yeah … I think that most mature people realize that sex is part of relationships and if a woman is dead set on finding a good match rather than any old boyfriend, she may have a few more partners than someone who jumps from long-term relationship to long-term relationship while always looking for “mr. right.”

Interesting question, one that has lots of different answers too, as you have seen already. Sometimes it seems like it was easier then men were expected to be sexualy esperinced while girls were expected to be virgin at marriage in the pre ERA era, before womens lib. Best I can say is to just try to match your feelings/views with a partner that shares the same ones as you, so if your find a partner with a low drive and you have a high drive, that would not be a good match now would it? Guess that means that both partners need to at least do some form of sexual exploring with each other, how much depends on each of them feelings on the subject.

Hard to say. I’m not sure that they correlate well, as social class, religion and economics play a very strong part in there, too. Supposedly, middle class Christians have the most sex over the course of a marriage (3x/week is considered a reasonable average for folks under 50), but who can say how accurate any sex survey is.

What’s more interesting to me is the correlation between disparity in sex drive and rates of cheating among married couples.

I totally agree with you. Like you stated, it’s not always true, but usually there is some correlation. There may be exceptions, but then again, doesn’t the notion that there are “exceptions” prove the rule? The rule being that generally there are reasons for something other than a perceived one.

Thank God I’m not in that catagory! I’ve had sex with 3 guys in my entire life and was married to two of them. My current marriage to a wonderful husband and lover – well we’ve had far more sex in the 8 yrs we have been married then in the previous 1st marriages (17/20 yrs)!

I just got to practice all I read over the years with hubby now – and he’s more then satisfied.

Haha i like your question. it does raise to my awareness of it too but i believe that everyone has their own idea of sex. some may like the regular carnal given from a man or with just the clitoris which many women can self masturbate and really every one has their own time in which they are ready for sex. For example it hit me early, for a phase of time its all i can think about, sex but for my gf now, it didnt hit her until probably later teens so i guess it just happens when it happens. i’ve been with multiple partners and she a handful probably but her sex drive now is wicked higher than mine compare to when we first started talking.

And mens theory of pure women is really superficial. if they are not virgins around their 20’s and are hunting for women in their 20’s that are virgins is really impossible to find now unless you meet them at church or something…but ever we know now that many church girls are the first tempted.

Many guys who want that aren’t that ‘deep’ to contemplate to that extent. Many have the double-standard also. And an intelligent confident woman won’t worry herself over it. But there are many types of people to go around, just a matter of getting the right types together. which normally doesn’t happen easily.

Humans evolved a misperception about disease and fidelity. Fewer partners are perceived as a lower risk of spoilage. In reality, a hundred clean partners would be better than one cockroach type with cooties. Regretfully, you aren’t going to change our human perceptions.

Love is not about sex to me, rather, sex is the culmination of desire, emotion, and giving to be shared with another.

Therefore, if I meet a gal whose focus is on sex, and, has had many partners, I am suspicious that she is too shallow for me.

I dated a woman that was married once, and later divorced. She had only slept with him before her marriage and divorce. After several years, I was the only other man she had been with.

She was REMARKABLY responsive in intimacy with me, but, I feel she saved her heart for someone unique to her.

Sex is not a physical act to me, it is about love.

I imagine its hard to become a professional anything just over night. The reason they don’t put out is because they are more mature minded and have more important things on their minds. They prefer to have meaningful sex instead of mindless sex.