I NEED help. Anyone please, I can't handle this anymore. :( 10 points?

I’m in love with someone, whom I met last year. We had barely any time together, but it was so painful for us both when he had to leave. We haven’t spoken for at least 10 months.

I can’t stop thinking of him, and I haven’t stopped for a year. I won’t be okay until I know I gave it a shot.

I want to pick up my life and move to philadelphia to give it a shot. If nothing comes of him, I think the experience will still be a positive one.

Should I go?

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✅ Answers

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  • You seriously need to discuss this with him before you just pick and move –

    He might not have the same feelings or he might be involved with someone else – bad idea to just “show up”

  • No, not if you haven’t spoken for 10 months. You’re in love with a fantasy and a memory, not a person.

    If you want to give it a shot, contact him and see if he responds. If he does, talk on the phone very regularly for a couple months, and go for a visit or have him viisit you if it’s feasible. Don’t even think of moving until you’ve had regular, personal contact for awhile.

    Anything’s possible. I know someone who was in a similar situation, had met someone and spent a lot of time together for a few months during job training. Then they went back to their own cities, most of the country apart. Communicated for awhile, then it stopped. Several years later he called her out of the blue, they talked on the phone regularly for several weeks, then she went to visit him. Came home from the visit, kept in frequent touch, and a few months later applied for a job transfer to his area. They got married the next year and are still together. Their 2 kids are both out of college, so it’s been a long time. Anyway, it happens, but is rare – don’t pick up and move without first having significant contact to see that the feelings are mutual.

  • An old phrase comes to mind “nothing ventured, nothing gained’. When it comes to love the heart and mind know no boundaries. I say go for it. As long as you are headed there with both eyes open and not expecting the world to be at your command, for him to fall into your arms and be yours forever. Perhaps he is married. Perhaps he doesn’t even live in Philadelphia. Perhaps he is a serial killer.

    What I am trying to say is don’t have such elevated expectations that you are totally devastated if it doesn’t work out.

    But if you don’t try, you may regret it for the rest of your life if you feel that strongly about it.

    Best of luck!

  • the “not spoken for 10 months ” is the above and beyond part. I would say you have given it a shot already; but no calls or anything would say that he is not interested. If you feel that not talking was constructive then i would have to speak to the person atleast once before such a leap is administered.

  • GIve him a call and see how things go from there. Or take a vacation for a few weeks but don’t move completely until you know his situations in 10 months a lot could happened. Good Luck! VIA LA AMOR!

  • If you think you love him, then don’t just go.. RUN!! Don’t let him get away. Make sure you want to move and will be ok moving. But I say it’s worth the shot!!

  • I’m thinking there is a good chance that he doesn’t feel the same way.

    Up and moving to be with him is a bit much. Have you talked to him about this??

  • Comin to my neck of the woods, eh?

    I’d say you need to talk to him more before you just move like that. There’s no telling if things would even be the same.

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