i have a 2 yr old and currently i’m 2 months pregnant again. my toddlers behavior is getting worse and worse every day and my marriage is at the verge of breaking. husband wants me to get an abortion from the day i told him i missed my period. now i’m almost 8 weeks pregnant. the more i’m trying to keep my husband happy, my marriage intact and avoiding abortion, its just getting harder and harder every day for me. i’m not feeling well and my toddler’s tantrums are getting out of hand. my husband seems like he’s literally having an affair. we don’t even talk anymore. he is hiding stuff from me which i can sense but don’t have proof yet. he is becoming very rude to our son and not giving him love and attention like he use to. i have no help, no family and no good friends who could help me with the kids. what should i do? i’m pro-life but this situation is turning me into a pro-choice. its either my marriage, my other son’s happiness and my husband’s mental and physical health or this pregnancy.
I’m sorry you are dealing with this. I’m not going to say don’t get an abortion, because only you can decide if that is the right choice for you or not. But I WILL say that an abortion won’t fix your problems! This pregnancy is adding stress to the situation, but your toddler’s behavior and your marriage problems are certainly not being caused by the pregnancy.
Your 2 year old is probably behaving normally for a 2 year old, they often go through very difficult phases on their journey from baby to child as it is a lot of physical and behavioral (expectations) changes for them to adjust to. At 2 months, your toddler has absolutely no concept of what you being pregnant means. What he DOES know is that his daddy is treating him differently and his mommy is very stressed (and probably treating him a little differently even if not intentionally…I know I am always more short with my toddler when I am tired, stressed, and/or not feeling well and/or his behavior is not what I expect no matter how hard I try to be patient).
Your husband’s problems are not being caused by your pregnancy either. His attitude and treatment of your son as well as his failure to communicate with you are his choice. He can not be happy about this pregnancy and what it could mean for your family’s future all he wants, that’s no excuse to behave the way he is behaving. Whether you decide to keep this baby or not, you and he really should seek counseling to address the real cause of the problems in your relationship.
If you feel that your own mental and physical health is in jeopardy, or that this situation may place your son’s physical or mental health (not happiness…many toddlers go through a phase where it seems nothing will make/keep them happy) is in jeopardy, then perhaps an abortion is the right choice for you. But do not do it thinking that it will help solve the behavioral problems your son or husband are having. The root of their behavior has nothing to do with your pregnancy, the only effect your pregnancy is having on it is your ability to cope with it.
This is only a question you can answer yourself. You say you are pro-life. So could you live with the decision of getting an abortion? As somebody who is also pro-life, I don’t believe in abortions because I believe life begins upon conception, so an abortion is essentially murdering my child in my eyes. However, I understand people who are pro-choice don’t feel the same way and that is a reality I must accept. If you do think the same thing, how does your situation or your husbands bad behavior change that?
So again… only you are able to know if 5-10 years from now you will be able to live with your decision.
Your husband clearly has some underlying issues, seek counseling or some help immediately. As rambunctious as your toddle is your second child will most likely be much different. My son was incredibly needy and whiny but my daughter is an independent angel. No two kids are alike, please don’t take this babies opportunity at life away because of the selfish needs of your husband. Plus having a sibling to look after could greatly calm your toddlers demeanor. Just think of the future doctor, nurse, preacher, or even president that is growing in your belly right now! I’m sorry you don’t have much help, try attending a local church, you could meet some great helpful and supportive friends there. I find the Church of Christ to be the most welcoming.
I think your son is reaxting to the strain he sees in your marriage. Try not to argue or discuss things that might make him feel that are better left for adult ears, like abortion. I think if you had an abortion you would then have to deal with guilt, grief, resentments towards your spouse, and a lifetime of what if’s.
Counseling would probably be the best chance of keeping your family intact. Dont give in to yoour sons tantrums, leave the room or if you are in public take him out of the store, wherever you are. Try to look for cues that he is getting overstimulated and take him to a quiet, dimly lit room so he can calm down before the tantrum hits.
As for the lack of a support system ask around about parent/child groups, expecting mom messsage boards, etc. Your city probably has a web page with links to community activities and support groups.
If your spouse is cheating and counseling wont resolve the issue to your satisfaction there is always the Parents without Partners group and a good divorce lawyer.
Source(s): Alot of experience first hand
Your husbands bad attitude should never be the reason to end the life of a child.
That is advice coming from someone who has had an abortion. Your husband is not a god to whom you sacrifice babies. We do not kill babies to satisfy our men. If you are with someone who is being unsupportive towards you because of the pregnancy situation you BOTH caused, well he has deeper attitude problems that will not be solved just from satisfying him this one time. Even if you got an abortion, your husband would STILL be acting like a dick in the future, and would probably continue to abandon you any time the marriage gets tough (any issues including being low on money, not getting enough sleep, car breaking down etc.)
Your son is going through terrible two’s. the tantrums will pass soon enough, when he’s three, he’ll behave a little better, when he turns four is when tantrums will pretty much stop. About the abortion, don’t do it. Abortion, as stated by the Catechism of the Catholic Church, is murder, plain and simple. (I chose the CCC because the Church says it as bluntly as possible) If you don’t want the child, put him or her up for adoption, as this allows the kid to go to a loving home if the parents decide that they can’t take care of the kid or for other reasons.
It sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed right now. You have a lot of different issues that you are dealing with right now. It might help to talk to a counselor at a hotline. Talking about what is going on with a counselor would be a good way to sort through the issues that you are facing. It sounds like you love your son very much and only want the best for him. Sometimes the best thing you can do for your kids is to get support/help for yourself.
Source(s): Boys Town National Hotline – 1-8-448-30
i’m there appropriate now! I certainly have an 18 month previous son and that i’m 9 weeks pregnant with my 2d infant. For me I certainly have discovered that generally I in basic terms could desire to relax so I supply my son the possibility to play independently for a half hour or so in his room with a splash one gate up and door open so i will nevertheless verify on him or I pop in a customary movie interior the front room that he will watch maximum of. He does nicely taking part in via himself for as much as an hour and his naptime I actually earnings from! If i’ve got faith ill and could get to the bathing room I in basic terms drop him in his room with the child gate already up and head in to do what i could desire to do and then come get him in a couple of minutes. it extremely is not elementary nonetheless, yet i’ve got got here upon a thank you to make it artwork. i’ve got frequently asked different mothers the comparable subject, how do you do it??? The solutions are all often the comparable, in basic terms %. your self and don’t experience undesirable approximately putting your infant in his/her room for a rapid time so which you will unwind or recover from a bout of nausea and/or vomiting. call on the help of acquaintances and kin in case you are able to to boot. desire my 2 cents enables you out some 🙂 good success and that i’m hoping you have 2 traces quickly!
Personally, I don’t believe in abortion for any reason. The reason why is because I believe that life starts once the egg is fertilized by the sperm cell. New advances in technology have enabled scientists to observe the amazing changes that take place in the nucleus of this one-celled fertilized egg. The molecules making up the DNA of the father and mother combine to create a human life that never existed before. That original single cell begins the truly miraculous process of constructing a fully formed human. The nature of this “construction” project is determined by our genes, which are segments of DNA. These control virtually everything about us. They determine our height, facial features, eye and hair color, and thousands of other traits.
Afterward, as that original cell divides, the complete genetic “blueprint” is duplicated into every new cell. Amazingly, each of these is programmed to develop into whatever kind of cell is needed. This includes heart tissue, brain cells, bone, skin, and even transparent tissue for our eyes. The initial programming within the original cell for the development of a unique new person has understandably often been referred to as “a miracle.””
The human being is fully programmed for human growth and development for his or her entire life at the one cell age,” reported Dr. David Fu-Chi Mark, a celebrated molecular biologist. He concluded: “There can no longer be any doubt that each human being is totally unique from the very beginning of his or her life at fertilization.”
Since I believe that life begins once the cell is fertilized, I believe that abortion at any point after that puts an end to that life, also called murder. I liken it to a man and woman who are forced into marriage because they live in a culture where they don’t have a say in whom they marry. The husband thinks it is unfair because he never wanted to marry his wife but is only stuck married to her because of the circumstances of his culture, so he puts her to death to free himself. There is no doubt that he commited murder, and it is just as undoubtful that a woman committing abortion because she is unintentionally pregnant is doing the same thing. The only thing the murdered wife did was get married because of the circumstances, and the only thing the murdered baby did was be conceived because of the circumstance.
I also have taken into consideration the light that the Bible sheds on the matter. Psalms 139:16 says that God sees the embryo deep inside the woman, showing that he recognizes the life that it has. Also, under the Mosaic Law, Exodus 21:22-25 says that if a pregnant woman got injured because she got caught up between two men fighting with each other, then whatever deformities or death that the child suffered should be imposed upon the man responsible. If God thought it serious enough to punish a person who unintentionally injured an unborn child, how do you think he feels about a person who intentionally does it?
These are my personal beliefs and I never force them on others. Besides, the Bible itself says “each one will carry his own load.” (Galatians 6:5) Women contemplating abortion would do well to consider how their Creator feels about it, and how they would feel after the abortion is over. There are many, many women who have been surveyed who regret getting an abortion. Also, there are many woman who got pregnant due to rape (some were even due to incest), but they were able to live normal lives. While they regret the manner in which the child was born, they don’t regret that the child was born. There are even times when doctors say that the child should be aborted because it’s quality of life or life expectancy looks grim, but the child is born perfectly healthy or lives much longer than the doctor said. There are also many parents who have children with deformities, but instead of wishing the child was never born, they cherish each day they do have with the child as if it may be their last. Such ones who feel like their back is against the wall should know that their situation is not unique. Others have triumphed who are in their situation, and any hurdles that taking care of a child poses have been overcome and can be overcome again.
Most children go through the “terrible 2s” it won’t last. if you child is mis behaving spank him or stick him in time out. your child needs to know who is boss. go to counsiling then have you and your husband place a hand on your belly and say hi. Every day if possible. my husband struggled with the news when we found out we were pregnant. he wouldn’t kiss me for 2weeks yet along touch me. Now i am 11 weeks and he is excited. your baby is a gift don’t murder your baby. try having regular date nights without bringing your son. ask your husband why he wants to kill the miracle he helped create. your husband could be stressed (money,work,your son’s,feels like he’s failing as a dad,behavior ect.) God has a plan for you and your unborn baby, hon i’m praying for you and if you ever need to talk email me ([email protected]) any time. 🙂
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