Im engaged to a firefighter who i have been with since i was 17 years old, im now 26 and and we are engaged to be married next May. I have recently got in contact with a really old friend who i haven’t seen in years and he has become very successful in his own business and i feel so proud of him. We use to be almost best friends growing up and i feel that friendship coming back and im so happy. My fiance only met him a few times and despises him and says he flirts with me in front of him and that he is arrogant and would do anything to be with me which is ridiculous. We live in The Bronx and i work in Manhattan and have sometimes met up with my friend for lunch and have a great laugh. One day last week my fiance called my cell and when he found out who i has having lunch with he flipped out, when he got home from work he just wouldn’t drop the subject and told me that he trusts me but he doesn’t trust him and knows how a guys mind works and this guy is after me. I adore my fiance and love him with all i am but all this is driving me crazy, i’ve never seen him like this before. I have many male friends and it never bothered him at all. My friends think its because my friend is basically rich and that he is just a working man firefighter, but i love him for him i tell him that all the time. Any advice on this? Thanks in advance
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? Best Answer
I agree with others. This shouldn’t even be a question to you.
– Chosen by Asker
Which is more important? Your fiance or your friendship with someone from your past?
I know that we should all be able to choose our own friends, but sometimes we have to make choices and do things because it’s important to the other person.
There’s some jealousy going on that your fiance won’t admit to.
You are not keeping it real! You are impressed by this ” almost best friend” and when he has broken up your relationship he will be no where to be found.
Where is your head? Having lunch or even spending time with this guy is a no, no. You know very well what he wants. You did say you are engaged, right?
Show your man more respect.
Your fiance is *discriminating* in his jealousy; it’s not carte blacnhe – do you trust him?
Do you care about him?
You need to cut this “friend” out of your life for a while.
Do you know what we call a one-on-one meeting for lunch?
A date.
Sounds like the friend is testing the waters with you though Im sure you wont agree. A “friend” would respect a betrouthed woman and not be asking you for lunch dates without bfs consent. Know what happens next——you go for the money.
You need to decide which option you prefer: losing your fiance or losing a friend.
This is cute , I have to laugh! He wouldn’t happen to have white hair would he , candy coated !
Grow up.
Your man is right.
I can understand why you fiance is mad and jealous.. Your friend has money, and you have had a close relationship with him. Guys get jealous. You should tell your fiance that you just want to be this mans friend, you are not attracted to him, and that you love and only want to be with your fiance. Maybe once or twice when you go out to lunch with your friend you should invite your fiance so he doesn’t feel insecure and he can see how innocent your and friends relationship is.
Flip this whole thing around and put everything you are doing as if he were doing it? How about if he had a hot old girl friend that called him and hooks up occasionally, How about if she did flirt with your guy right in front of you? Come on. Are you really so selfish to insist on having such a double standard. Your guy really deserves better if you can’t put yourself in his shoes and look as the point from his perspective!
I think it’s okay to have a friend but..you have to put yourself in his shoes …you went out to lunch with him alone…put that in reverse…how would you feel about him being w/ another woman that you thought was flirty w/ him @ lunch…I know he may seem jealous but it’s for the right reasons…you have to respect your fiances feelings…he comes first especially if you’re getting married. I would probably suggest what the 1st guy said…and if you and your friend go out make sure it’s w/ a group of people not alone.
If you love your fiance it really shouldn’t be that big of a deal not to hang out with this guy. If some chick from your fiance’s past showed up and was sweeter, funnier and way hotter than you how would you feel about him going out on basically dates with her? You see how much it bothers him… is this other douche really worth the discomfort you are causing the man you are about to marry?
And a side note… douchebag should back off. My bf would never get in touch with and start going on lunch dates with a girl who was about to get married. He should show some respect for other men’s women.
It often surprises me how naive some people can be. Let me spell it out for you, that which your fiancee already knows…
Your “friend” if he is single has absolutely no interest in being your friend! In fact, he is trying to sabotage your current relationship with his flirting and flashing his success in front of you. Believe me, this is NO mistake. Rich boy is after you, whether he admits it or not.
SINGLE (STRAIGHT) MEN DO NOT WISH TO BE FRIENDS!!!
EVER.
Well your fiance may think it is an old flam, that may be you slept with. You say you have many male friends. Well if you let this one go, you wont be missing much. I know you may not like it, but if you don’t let him go your fiance will be letting you go. I am 58 years old, and I have done it my self. Come to find out she had been sleeping with him. Please, let this friend go before you loss the one you love.
Answer hidden due to its low rating
I’d have to agree with your friends. sounds like your guy is a little threatened/jealous of your guy friend because he makes bank. however, since he’s a firefighter, I could only assume he’s got a super hot bod, so just keep reassuring how hot you think he is and that no one compares. if he doesn’t feel any better at all, you should probably just tell your friend that it’s not worth pissing off your fiance-sometimes guys can just be dumb like that
hope it works out!
Source(s):
married for a year, been there done that.