The warmth felt inside
The feelings I can’t hide
My eyes show it as it is
And show me what I miss
So I hold you here while I can
With no plan
Just embrace
And just in case
I kiss you like it’s my last
But I don’t take it fast
You’re my procrastination
My fascination
So I take a breath like a test
Calm and quietly while you’re on my chest
Head beneath the nook of neck
The moment so perfect
My heartbeat met by yours
The sound so pure
That there’s nothing to say
As it lulls us away
✅ Answers
? Favorite Answer
The warmth inside,
The feelings I can’t hide.
My eyes show the bliss,
And tell me what I miss.
So I hold you here, while I can
With no plan,
Just our embrace,
And just in case,
I kiss you like it’s our last,
But I don’t go too fast.
You’re my procrastination,
My fascination.
I take a breath, like a test,
Calm and quiet, with you on my chest,
Head resting in the nook of my neck.
The moment so perfect
My heartbeat met by yours
The sound so pure
That there’s nothing to say
As it lulls us away
It’s not bad, it just doesn’t have a true natural flow. For a love poem to someone it would work, but for publishing you would need to edit it. For one thing, stanzas. You have one giant thing. Either make it a sonnet, or give it some stanzas to help us out. Also, try not to use the same words multiple times, especially within a few lines of each other. Punctuation is still used in poetry, commas and periods mostly, with hyphens and others used as well. You also seem to vary the lengths of your lines a lot, which is okay, but be cautious of it because it can ruin the flow of a poem. In poetry, you don’t need to say “That there’s nothing to say” you can just say “Nothing to say” and your meaning will get across and sounds better.
Ohh I feel all warm and cuddly, a lovely poem, I think that youve found your vocation!
great
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