Please read my poem "Embrace"?

The warmth felt inside

The feelings I can’t hide

My eyes show it as it is

And show me what I miss

So I hold you here while I can

With no plan

Just embrace

And just in case

I kiss you like it’s my last

But I don’t take it fast

You’re my procrastination

My fascination

So I take a breath like a test

Calm and quietly while you’re on my chest

Head beneath the nook of neck

The moment so perfect

My heartbeat met by yours

The sound so pure

That there’s nothing to say

As it lulls us away

✅ Answers

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  • The warmth inside,

    The feelings I can’t hide.

    My eyes show the bliss,

    And tell me what I miss.

    So I hold you here, while I can

    With no plan,

    Just our embrace,

    And just in case,

    I kiss you like it’s our last,

    But I don’t go too fast.

    You’re my procrastination,

    My fascination.

    I take a breath, like a test,

    Calm and quiet, with you on my chest,

    Head resting in the nook of my neck.

    The moment so perfect

    My heartbeat met by yours

    The sound so pure

    That there’s nothing to say

    As it lulls us away

    It’s not bad, it just doesn’t have a true natural flow. For a love poem to someone it would work, but for publishing you would need to edit it. For one thing, stanzas. You have one giant thing. Either make it a sonnet, or give it some stanzas to help us out. Also, try not to use the same words multiple times, especially within a few lines of each other. Punctuation is still used in poetry, commas and periods mostly, with hyphens and others used as well. You also seem to vary the lengths of your lines a lot, which is okay, but be cautious of it because it can ruin the flow of a poem. In poetry, you don’t need to say “That there’s nothing to say” you can just say “Nothing to say” and your meaning will get across and sounds better.

    See also  what elements are there in the poem Where The Mind Is Without Fear that the poet is a patriot and a philosoph?
  • Ohh I feel all warm and cuddly, a lovely poem, I think that youve found your vocation!

  • great

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