Should I marry him?

Why in the world would you? You did not list 1 nice thing about him!!

Okay you no the answer is no, but i have a few problems with you.

4. He thinks that marriage should be 50/50. I think that the man should be the provider and the woman be the homemaker. So should he be half the woman too?

First off 50/50 can mean many things. Like he goes to work, but you do all the cleaning at home. Or you share the cleaning at home and you both work. If you only want to be a homemaker that means you have no drive in life and I would say he shouldn’t marry you.

7. It is hard to compromise with him unless I talk until I am BLUE in the face.

so you nag and nag him, yeah he needs to get away from you. But good luck with all of that.

He is recognising his responsibility to his present family and should be commended for that. He realises that as a couple you could probably not support more than one more child without it impacting financially on the others (tough, I know, but that is the deal when you marry a man who already has kids). He is continuing to pay to keep a roof over his kids’ heads and of course he can’t ‘help’ you financially – why should he? Aren’t you an independent woman with a job? And he is correct – marriage IS 50/50 and the stay-at-home ‘homemaker’ is a very much a thing of the past.

As far as I can tell, you have a good man there, and you are letting financial considerations and a little bit of your own selfishness stand in the way of future happiness.

Yes, let him go., He deserves a more compassionate and caring wife than you appear to be.

1&2 – If you want 2 kids of your own and he has already has his fill with 3 of his own, you probably won’t be happy.

3 – He is likely legally bound to support his ex… if not and he won’t support you, don’t expect that to change.

4 – If you expect a man to take care of you and he won’t, move on and find one that does. There aren’t many left… and I don’t recommend it since if he ever leaves you, you have very few options financially. Honestly, I agree with him on the 50/50 thing from past experience. If you’re really asking if he should be half the woman, then ask yourself if you should be half the man…

5&10 – Then walk… worry about YOUR future.

6 – They’ll never change… remember that you marry the family, not just the man.

7 – If he can’t discuss things with you, it will only get worse… especially if he holds all the purse strings.

8&9 – Forget it… you’ve already answered your own questions.

In sum, you really need to avoid marrying him. You obviously have issues with his past and don’t see much future in him. If you want to stay in a relationship with him, fine, but I think marrying him will be a huge mistake.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I’m just reading between the lines you’ve laid out. I think you just needed someone to back you up… hope that was accurate and that it helps. Good luck!

it seems there are alot more negatives than positives in this relationship. From what i have read this does not seem like a happy relationship at all. Think to yourself your already having these problems so what is going to be like if you get married. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with this person. Maybe both of you could try harder to make certain things work but if that doesnt happen maybe its best you both go your separate ways. It certainly doesnt seem like you should be getting married. Find someone who is on your wavelength and cares about your opinions and can compromise. But after all said its your choice and do whatever you feel is right. I hope it works out for you.

ok first off… #8 if your starting to become numb to him you should be with him.

#4 a marriage is 50/50… Now a days women work after they have children.

All of the above : DON’T MARRY HIM. You guys are obviously not good for each other. totally different people he’s alreayd had his family and all. You havent and you want all the good things that come with having a family of your own. Don’t stay in a relationship that isn’t working cuz if its not now its never going to work no matter how mcuh and how hard you work at it. Another thing… he shouldnt be paying for the house his ex lives in she should.

Sadly my dear, these are the Red Flags that while you have some emotionally invested times with this man your lives are headed in different directions. He had his set ways & unfinished business with his ex. And families don’t change much in those areas.

I would try to end things now on a good note & know that Your Ideal man who wants the same things you do IS OUT THERE. it’s better than being married and miserable only to end up divorced a year down the road. It’s difficult but a must.

Source(s): We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Joseph Campbell

Hello,

You sound like you already know the answer. You shouldn’t marry him. This man is clearly not the one for you from what you have said. It sounds like you are unhappy and this will only get worse if you marry him. You can’t hope to change him.

Perhaps you need some time out to think about what you want and find out who you are again. Sometimes when your with someone for a period of time you change to fit in with them and their dreams and forget what you started out wanting. I’m sure you’ve heard this before but you only get one shot at this life and so don’t waste it on someone who isn’t going to make you happy.

We have all been guilty of this, many women worry that they may not meet someone else and that they will end up on their own, if this is worrying you don’t let it. You have more chance of meeting Mr Right when your single not when your wasting your time with this man. If you were never to meet anyone else you will at least be able to pursue you own life not his! Too many people settle for second best, don’t be one of them.

As for his family, it sounds like they are a nightmare too and will never support you. If you have children with him you will be tied to them all forever. I’d get out while you can. Take care and good luck x

No I wouldn’t marry him. If I had it to do all over again I would have stayed gone after my 2kids were born. I can’t say I am not glad I married the kids dad, but can say I wish I had stayed gone when I left him. If you have to ask should I marry someone then the answer should be No. I have had that question in my mind and married anyway and all it ends up being is a miserable marriage. You list 10 things that say No way should you marry him. Your answers are there so regroup and say No.

Pretty much all of those are good reasons not to get married. The fact that he wants a vasectomy and you still want kids is the absolute deal-breaker. I never wanted kids (had a vasectomy at 21), and have never had a successful relationship with any woman that wanted kids. Sorry, but that is the way it goes.

No I don’t think that you should get married to him, it sounds like there are more problems there than anything else. You want a family, and he doesn’t because he already has had one. He’s still helping his ex with money and doesn’t give anything to you. His family doesn’t treat you with any respect. He’s stubborn. He doesn’t turn you on anymore in the bedroom. You both sound like you have absolutely nothing in common. It’s a nightmare.

I would just dump him and find somebody new who actually deserves you, somebody who shares the same kind of dreams as you do for the future, and who treats you nice. 🙂