I unfortunately have been exposed to this, one of the worst feelings in the world for me. Anyway, just about a year after it’s happened, 3 months after I found out, I’ve come a long way as far as forgiving and what not. I’m still with the guy, he’s totally different and out of his previous lifestyle but I of course still struggle with it from time to time. Now I’m at this point…
Where since time has passed and I’ve been fine for the most part, any time I bring it up or have a question relating to it or ANYTHING with relation to what happened, it’s all about him. He doesn’t like to bring it up because it’s a sore area for him with all the guilt and shame he’s felt from doing it. My mom is even like, we don’t need to bring this up and keep reminding him of what he’s done. And I do agree on this, no need to dwell on the past BUT, just because the action is past doesn’t mean it’s horrible affect on me has passed. He doesn’t want HIS sore spot over it to be touched upon? How about the terrible gut wrenching feelings I’ve had to go through and that still come up from time to time? Like I want THOSE to come up? Like I ever wanted to feel THOSE? WTF to do then? Don’t wanna dwell on the past but I’m not going to just cover it up and pretend everything is 1% fine.
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✅ Answers
It’s a hard situation and I am going through the cheating part at the moment. It’s definitely not fun and I know all of those gut wrenching feelings you speak of. Everything you described is what I am currently dealing with myself. My husband won’t talk about it either, it’s a sore point.
My situation is a little different though because my husband comes back to me and then goes to her and so on…
Have you tried counseling at all? Trying that would be a good option, you will both be able to let out how you feel about what has happened.
You still have unresolved issues and that’s very common.
I think you need to sum up a list of questions that are going to help satisfy your curiosity and help ease your pain and present them to your partner.
I know that when you are feeling down, you just want him to re-affirm your feelings and endorse his love for you still.
I can understand why he says what he says but he’s not taking your feelings into consideration, because you are right, you did not ask for this. I think you need to explain to him that although you did not ask for this, he put the wheels in motion and it’s HIS fault he cheated.
All you can do is try to resolve your feelings on that and let it be. As you have decided to forgive him, but you don’t have to forget. He will spend his life making it up to you, hopefully.
Tell him you need to discuss it one last time and then you will leave it be for both of your sakes. Tell him you would like more attention and you are feeling insecure, all you want is affirmation.
I hope you feel better, I’m sorry that this has happened to you.
Why are you still with him? Obviously you are not over what has happen and you have not forgiven this man. If you had forgiven him, you would not bring it up anymore. Your mother is right, when you forgive you don’t bring it up anymore. Now I didn’t say that you forget, but you don’t bring it up anymore. Maybe you should try some time apart so that you can heal and forgive this man. If the relationship is meant to be, it will be.
well of course you have every damn right to have those fellings.am a guy.
he cheated on you and was unfaithful. thats the most messed up thing that a man could do to a woman. its just horrible and unspeakable. sweetie, no matter what you do, you will NEVER forget what he did. No, absolutely no. even if you come with a compromise, and somehow manage to forget and forgive his deeds, you will always remember it. you cannot forget that. it will tear you up from inside and always that feeling of just misery will never leave you. sweetie take my advice, dump the guy. even if you forgive him, he wont learn anything. once a cheater, always a cheater. i wasted 3years of my life with a whore for a wife. cheated on me quite often, i always forgave her, but the thoughts of her with other guys always tormented me. not to mention 2 kids that aren’t mine. i loved her with all my soul, but was blind. a year ago, i just went nuts. divorced her, took dna testing and proved her to be the whore in the court house. now i started a new family. its all good now. dump him and start afresh. you will never forget it. i still haven’t forgotten the unfaithul woman.
Source(s): miserable experience of life
You need to end this relationship now because you will never get over it. It will always haunt you. And the fact that you just swept it under the rug and never really dealt with it doesn’t help either. Why did you stay with him? Time will not heal these wounds especially since he won’t let you express your grief.
well im sorry you were cheated on, im even more sorry you stayed with the dirtbag. and if he doesnt want to be completely open with you and talk about it to help YOU get past it..hes still hiding something.and why is your mom on his side anyways? tell him you need to talk about it for you to move on and get oer it jus bc he put it behind him doesnt mean u have bc he did it and u took him back he doesnt think bout it bc hesnot theone who got hurt. you are. its not about him its about YOU now.so make his *** talk.if he cant then y are you still with him??? you deserve better then being cheated on anyways.
Find a guy you are physically attracted to, do him, and then forgive your husband. But just keep it to yourself.