October is National Bullying Awareness Month! This is very important to get the word out. We ask our children to be respectful and to prevent bullying, but what can we do as adults? Please share with us!
-Teach their Children to be Respectful & civil to OTHERS… -Whether They like Them- or NOT! Because what “goes around” COMES around (And that You’re going to “SEE TO It”- that it Does !! ).
We can ask our child’s teacher about their behavior if we have concerns also we can speak to our children about bullying and not assume the school is going to cover it.
Be involved in our children’s social lives. Make it our business to be aware of how things are going for them, keep lines of communication open, reassure them that we CAN help if we know what is going on. Be an advocate for anti bullying efforts in our children’s schools. Hold the schools accountable for enforcing anti bullying rules and hold ourselves and our children accountable for any bullying they might be responsible for. I will be taking a firm no tolerance stance on both sides of this issue. If my children are bullies, they will be punished for their behavior and taught that it is not acceptable. If they are being bullied themselves I will do whatever is in my power to make sure it stops, I am not squeamish at all when it comes to confrontation with school administrators or other parents.
Adults cannot do anything to prevent bullying. One thing people don’t see, is that bullying is human nature. Everyone wants to say something low about everyone else. The thing parents SHOULD be focusing on, instead of trying to prevent the inevitable, is tolerance. Parents should teach their children how to tolerate bullies. With the amount of suicides caused by bullying every year, all people focus on is “Stop the bullies.” Well, you can’t do that. You have to teach your children not to let anything negative get to them.
I believe education starts at home. If parents know well, then they should teach their kids not to disrespect people and parents should also not fight or disrespect each other, parents are suppose to be good examples. Like fighting in front of their kids. Problems at home is what makes it happen in school.
Your questions is just like “How can parents prevent teen pregnancy?” Well you teach them correctly. You tell them to wait to have sex until marriage, But most likely is that the mother herself got pregnant that (not judging) but parents are supposed to be examples and role models.
There’s nothing that can be done per se. Plus, most parents wouldn’t want to admit their kid is a bully.
Juno’s answer is half right. You see, they should learn to tolerate bullying. However, it’s troublesome because people have emotions and may still obtain a low self esteem after constant bullying. The second thing is, bullying CAN get physical. People say “Ignore bullies. They’ll leave you alone.” But they’re wrong. Bullies can and WILL sometimes get physical. I’d teach my kid how to fight back properly if anything. If someone were to hit my son, I’d want my son to be able to stand his own.
There is another, non-violent method however. You could always get your kid interested in bodybuilding. The reason for that is nobody wants to pick on a kid with muscles.
Try teaching your kids to defend themselves. If someone starts acting up towards them, show them the weakest link: snap a kneecap, and a bully goes down. Stop with all the sissified crap the touchie-feelie leftists spew, and fight fire with an axe. Only way to effectively take out a bully.
we as adults must first educate ourselves about bullying. we have to know the signs of bulying and how we can engage to prevent it. holding meeting for adults would be one effective way to educate other adults because majority of the time bullying starts at home. If a student is bullying, chances are hes either being bullied or has seen someone among the household bullying therefor causing him/her to behave that way. bullying is deff a worldwide problem and i hope that people educate themselves about it,
Parents can teach their children to be respectful to others and treat them as they would like to be treated.
However, we also need to face reality. There are always going to be bad people in the world and children need to find ways to cope with that so that when they get older, they won’t let bad people impact their life.
We have all this talk about ways to stop bullying, the truth is, yes trying to stop it may minimise bullying, but it won’t eradicate it forever. Instead of finding ways to stop bullying, we should invest time in teaching our youth how to avoid being impacted by bullies. That is something that can be achieved and in essense stop bullying from being as significant as it is today.
“I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul”
I’m not saying its easy, but you are in charge of what you allow to impact you. You have control.
Adults need to listen when someone has reported bullying. I was bullied ( Bully and i were on the basketball team and he was the captain). he verbally and physically bullied me After directly confronting the bully and asking him to stop he kept going. So i reported this to the right people except they did not listen
Here are the adults in order i went to so i could fix this the right way:
Student resource police officer ( in fact he told me that if i retaliated in any way, including verbally, i would be charged now does that make sense?)
the Vice principals ( one was my principal in high school and another was my neighbor, still is in fact. the neighbor actually tried to help but got nowhere)
And finally the head principal.
I told them that i was fed up and if this happened again i would not be responsible for my actions
well a little while later the coach got in on the bullying ( yes he bullied me) and after practice the whole team was bullying me. i snapped and threw the bully captain in the trash can.
Well the rpinciple, student resource officer, and the vp’s all told me that i was gonna be charged (except for my vp neighbor)
I told them no you cant because i took the right steps, reported this multiple times and nothing was done. they did not charge me with any crime thank goodness.
But they did not listen and it got out of hand because they did not do anything.
If adults would listen i think the bullying rates would go down
October is National “Lots of Things” month. It’s Breast Cancer Awareness, Miscarriage/Still Birth/Infant Loss Awareness, Pro-Life Awareness, among other things.
Best way to combat bullying? Teach your children in the home. Teach them to be treat others the way they wish to be treated. Train them to have that be their second nature to put themselves second. Model this in your home with your own relationships. Stay involved with your kids. Don’t blind yourself if your child is a bully. Address it and put a stop to it. Show them how *not* to be self centered.
What we don’t need:
– More government intervention when parents should be doing their job to begin with.
there isn’t much unless the kids being bullied stand up and ask for help. Then we do whatever it takes!!!
CALLING A HOTLINE DOES NOT ALWAYS HELP!!!
Most hot lines tell the kids to talk with their parents, teachers, other educational person or the police. They even tell them how to start the conversation. There’s a big problem with that, their probably calling the hot line because they can’t talk to those people for one reason or another.
Then you have school officials that at times know bullying is going on and do nothing. Suicide because of bullying does not only happen because of the bullying. You have to add in the isolation, frustration and shame, yes shame.
On top of anti-bullying we should also teach all kids to recognize suicide warning signs. This should be passed out in schools.
“If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional – only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain.
I don’t know who you are, or why you are reading this page. I only know that for the moment, you’re reading it, and that is good. I can assume that you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you at this moment, to sit with you and talk, face to face and heart to heart. But since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this.
I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so I have some small idea of what you might be feeling. I know that you might not be up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this short. While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have five simple, practical things I would like to share with you. I won’t argue with you about whether you should kill yourself. But I assume that if you are thinking about it, you feel pretty bad.
Well, you’re still reading, and that’s very good. I’d like to ask you to stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that you’re at least a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really will end your life. Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means you are still a little bit unsure. It means that even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live. So let’s hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.
Start by considering this statement:
Suicide is not chosen; it happens
when pain exceeds
resources for coping with pain.
That’s all it’s about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn’t even mean that you really want to die – it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights… no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could.
Don’t accept it if someone tells you, “That’s not enough to be suicidal about.” There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.
When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.
You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.
considering there are a LOT of adult bullies on YA (as well as kids)…lets start here……YA can fix its report abuse system to help stop bullying. Despite that fact that I have been a very active top contributor who has never made a false report, I am not considered to be reliable and my reports are ignored. At the same time I know of bullies who ban together to falsely report innocent people or even game the system using multiple accounts to falsely report.
Appealing is iffy and aggravating, as often when clearly there is no violation, the person loses the appeal. Its not worth the effort to appeal….and that doesn’t help the issue with NOTHING happening to stop the bullies. Posts that are clearly abusive are left up.
even in real life…have experienced many adult bullies…..IGNORING THE BULLY DOES NOT WORK..i tried it….
Parents can talk to the bully’s parents, but sometimes that doesn’t work. Some parents just don’t care. I’m not sure why though. The best thing to do is talk to the kid himself. Let the two (or more) talk it over and hopefully they will compose themselves. You can also have a “playdate” with the bully and his/her parents. If none else works, just stay away from the bully and ignore him/her. All bullies want is to get your attention. Keep that in mind. You can also have your kid talk to the school counselor, they are really good at talking to kids and giving comfort. Counselors can speak kid language pretty fluently.
I have been bullied a lot before and still am
Adults should know more about what their children are doing at school. They should talk to their children more so they can find out if something is wrong. They should monitor what they do online, just enough so that they know what’s going on, but not so its annoying. They should teach their kids manners. Teach them to be nice to everyone regardless of how they look etc. Teach their kids to put themselves in another’s shoes so they treat everyone the way they want to be treated. Adults should try and understand the kids position and not barge into the problem, but try to slowly ease in and make a peaceful conclusion where everyone is safe. If adults are in the mildest bit concerned they should as the teachers privately.
Well first off, parents should launch a viral campaign. Many middle and high school kids have Facebook these days, and the parent’s son/daughter should tell all her Facebook friends to join an event against bullying, which could happen anywhere, at the school or a park or something.
At said event, in an attempt to stop bullying, parents should do their best to show everyone bullying is wrong.
The parents should also buy or even create their own wristbands, t-shirts, caps etc. that are anti-bullying written all over them, and give them out to students to wear at school and at home. This is a good way to show anti-bullying support.
Finally, parents should sit down and talk with their children with any bullying issues. Parents should also encourage other parents to sit down and talk to their children about bullying issues.
You can teach them that everyone has feelings. They can learn to make friends. Sometimes, a bully won’t realize that they are doing something bad because it makes the other person tough.
Bullying is like obsession and harasment. One person does it and does not know how it feels, but if they realize that it hurts, it might mean that they can control it.
A dirty look can hurt, a judgement can hurt, criticism can hurt, repremand can hurt, neglegence can hurt and so on. These things can be tolerated and build character.
The problem is that too much can cause serious psychological problems, but is it the responsibility of the bully or the person being bothered? What level of bullying is occuring?
Who will be the hero? The teacher? The parent? You can teach the child to be the hero by learning that we all have feelings, people in bad health can act out and if they use charm and psychology they can win over their peers.
The school can be accountable to separate the childen. If the school has high incidents of crime, it would help if the children had a religious education to instill values and thinking before they act.
Try not to foster an “it’s all about me” attitude in our children. Understand the difference between self-esteem and narcissism–you don’t want the latter in your child. Begin teaching them empathy at a young age. Know who they’re hanging around with. Even the best of kids can become “sick” when around sick others. We’ve all read Lord of the Flies! Make no excuses for your child if you find out they’ve been bullying other kids. Model compassion and acceptance for them, encourage them to do the same and praise their efforts.
You people have it all wrong. WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!!
No, a child does not have to experience cruelty as a learning experience. We watched a bullying presentation in our school yesterday, and they taught us how powerful bullying can be. It is a HUGE issue. Seriously, we need to get rid of it. It’s not good. Our school has very little bullying in it, but these, “Your child needs to be bullied to learn,” attitudes need to stop.
Sometimes (or actually, most times), it goes too far. Why should children have to experience insulting, ignorant, and harsh comments?
Bullying is bad, and it’s a serious problem. Yes suicide is not the smartest attempt, but bullying is still not any good. Why shouldn’t children be able to live a peaceful, bully-less life?
It’s just a really wrong way to think about things. “Don’t get rid of bullying.”
What we need is more presentations like this that shows the SEVERE consequences of bullying to the victim and the bully. A strong, sentimental presentation should do the trick for these, “Bullying is okay,” people. Please, inform the public about it. Telling children how to deal with bullying is a good idea, but that doesn’t mean bullying should not be minimized as much as possible. We still need to do everything we can to stop it. We should teach about how by-standers can have a significant influence on bullying. This will inform the public on what to do as a by-stander as well.
We need education and a willing society, not laws, and not people against bullying prevention.
EDIT: I don’t think I was clear enough about WHY bullying is bad.
Well, there are some serious effects on the victim from bullying. The #1 effect is depression. Bullying can put a victim into severe depression quite easily actually. And it’s just a matter of time until that reaches to cutting/self-hurting. His/her life can become very miserable and unhappy. And nowadays, cyber-bullying is even worse because it’s understandable that the consequences shouldn’t be that severe as long as the victim can have a peaceful afternoon/evening,but with cyber-bullying, this is not possible any longer. And that can seriously lessen the time it takes for all the consequences to become evident in a victim. And these memories stay life-long. You are 16 times more likely to remember a negative comment than a positive one. Not to mention, these experiences can result in poorer grades and less involvement in activities which can further result in worse college applications (because that’s what they want you to have). Seriously, bullying can lead to getting rejected from a college. That’s how powerful it is. As for the bully, there is usually a reason why they are bullying. Either they were bullied, or else they have problems going on. So by stopping bullying, we can also cure the bully’s problems. Curing the bullying problem can result into some positive effects including higher grades, a more intelligent and respectable society, and a happier/more peaceful lifestyle. Why not get rid of it?
I think most parents should understand that to defeat bullying, you have to defeat the root problem.
Most bullies are not born, they grow and develop when they live in broken, unstable homes where one or both parents are either not present or not giving the amount of attention a child needs. Many bullies are people that have been bullied in the past.
The bottom line is, as much as you want to blame the bully, understand that it is the parents’ responsibility to raise children of good character, and to BE INVOLVED in their lives. A lot of bullying and destructive behavior would be prevented altogether if parents were more involved in their families, and there were less parents that were divorced or separated.
I think there are some great answers here. I also think that adults need to lead by example. It is imperative that we as adults model respectful, kind, and mature behavior at all times.
I think there are three things adults can do:
1. some others have pointed out one, teaching respects to their kids, as to prevent their kids from becoming bullies.
2. Schools can enforce more severe punishments to cases of bullying in school.
3. Adults/ Parents can teach social skills to their kids, to prevent them from being bullied. SOME kids that are targets of bullying are those with weaker social skills, social skills that actually can be improved thus preventing bullying. As we already know, for adults, social skills are a big factor in landing a better job, or gaining better position in a company hierarchy. Basically one of the keys to professional success. Adults LEARN this, knowing that it benefits them in their career. Most of younger kids do not have awareness of it that much. Some of the things they do, annoy the more aggressive kids and so bullying take place. Although, some kids bully for no reason. But hopefully this point can help to prevent some cases from happening
“What can adults do to prevent bullying?” Nothing!
We can’t control anyone but ourselves. There will be bullies in school, on the team, on the playground, in Sunday school, on the street, at work, at the government office, at the bank, in the hospital, bullies are EVERYWHERE and come in every nationality, gender and age.
We can do nothing to prevent bullies and condescending people who get off on making our lives miserable.
The ONLY thing we can and should be doing is to learn how to not let it get to us. We should all learn (and teach our children) how to cope with disappointment, how to ignore idiots who try to get under our skin, and how to move onward and upward.
My dad always told me “success is the BEST revenge.” Ignore the idiots. Get your education and become their boss!
I agree 100% with Anime and Marcus.
“National Bullying Awareness” month – what a ridiculous idea. We are all fully aware of bullies, there is no need to make us more aware.
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Run an anti-bullying day at their school
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95% should do NOTHING and teach their children how to handle the bullying and the first thing that would take care of most of this is for the bullied child to ignore it. A reaction escalates the situation and so do parents.
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well since most adults can’t fight the bully. I guess by contacting the parents about the situation. The parents can also help by giving their child a weapon like a switchblade or pepper spray, just in case. Most wait…..Bully’s are insecure about their self.
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I believe its not a matter of preventing bullying, but a matter of teaching your kid how to learn to DEAL with bullying.
Life is about coping, if your child is not taught how to deal with issues and is instead shielded from them, then they will not grow up into self-managing adults. Teach your kid how to ignore issues like bully’s and how to understand why bully’s do what they do. They will grow into a better person because of this.
Not to mention there is no solution to bullying. Bullying has been going on since the beginning of time. You don’t stop human nature.
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Why would you want to stop bullying? It’s an important part of growing up and great opportunity to teach your children self-esteem and confidence. As long as the bullying doesn’t get out of hand and turn into violence then leave it be. Bullying been around since mankind and only now has suicide in young people gotten worse. Stop the coddling!
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they really cannot do any thing because they don’t know how it feels
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There is nothing they can do to prevent it I feel. Because there is bullying in adult world too.