Visitor to new apartment – I didn’t expect to hear mice in a new apartment? Owner – That’s not mice, it’s the man in the next apartment eating celery.
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An idiot was selling his apartment, and put the matter in an realtors hands. The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the apartment that made wonderful reading. After the idiot read it, he turned to the agent and asked, “Have I got all you say there?” The agent said, “Certainly you have…Why do you ask?” Replied the idiot, “Cancel the sale… it is too good to part with.”
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When the blonde heard about the man who rowed across the Atlantic ocean single-handed she said, “Why didn’t he use both hands?”
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When the blonde was baking a cake and it said on the recipe to separate two eggs, she put one in the kitchen and one in the dining room.
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Why can’t you tell blondes knock-knock jokes? Because they go answer the door.
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How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? She has left cheese for the mouse.
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What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? ”Look! They spelled MACY’S wrong!”
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How do you know when a blonde’s been sending e-mail? You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.
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Did you hear about the blonde that threw away her weight loss video because she noticed that the people on the video weren’t losing weight either?
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What do you call a blonde wearing a leather jacket? A rebel without a clue.
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Update:
gen. patton -SO what? She was blonde in % of her movies and that was when you were in diapers.
✅ Answers
? Favorite Answer
You should put all your blonde jokes into book form my friend.
You will have a hit on your hands.
Excellent as always.
General Patton is right, she was not a natural blonde. She was just the first one to play the dumb blonde that any guy could use. Certainly many of them did. They are just now releasing the various porn videos she did. They could not be released until after years. But they aren’t anything special.
‘Did you hear about the blonde that threw away her weight loss video because she noticed that the people on the video weren’t losing weight either?”
Now that’s my favorite! LOL
I was born a natural blonde and after I had children, I became a dirty blonde and now I have to work hard at covering up the gray-dirty blonde and use a strawberry blonde to make me look younger, I like the red : )
LOL
Love the blonde jokes
Keep them coming Sis.
Marylin wasnt famous for being a blonde,she showed her body in a time that was not ready,what , legs,panties,boobs,etc…what is to much,she had a relationship with the Kennedys,she was popalular in the lime life give the media what they want DUH?
I used to be blond.
These are fabulous…absolutely fabulous!
Thanks Cami!
lol, good blonde jokes
Are you sure she was “playing” the part?
I love them…
Have a nice day…
M.M. was NOT a natural blond.