I’m a bit anti-social as I’m too shy. Another thing is I’m afraid of whether we’ll have something to talk about. I hate facing awkward silences! How should I get over it? I really need help, I hate being said as ’emo’ or ‘unfriendly’.
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I know how you feel. I am the kind of person who sits in the library during lunch to read a book. I would recommend creating a small tight knit group of friends you are comfortable hanging out with and have a lot in common with. This is easier said then done. This is going to sound cliché but it doesn’t matter what other people say about you. Another thing is that if there is a awkward silence you can’t relay on other people to fill it even if it means having to create a new topic from the top of your head! Good luck (I’m a guy btw)
Source(s): Life.
Oh, I know how you feel. I dread awkward silences as well, and shyness definitely doesn’t help. What I do is get in the mindset that when I am going to be hanging out with someone, I will come out of my box. You just have to make yourself. Fake it until you make it they say. Think about awkward silences sometimes. Plan a little before they happen. For instance, when there is a silence, make a plan to just randomly bring up something about your day. Or look around the room, see if something sparks a conversation starter. Just think about these conversation-savers on your free time, and take them out of your back pocket when you need them. If you think about it enough, and experiment in real-life convos, you will become more confident.
Good luck 🙂
practice man. you’re not born with social skills, they’re learned just like anything else, and the only way they’re learned is through repeated experience. It’s totally possible because I was once in your position and I’d say I pretty much just got over it. If you want to have something to talk about then work on making yourself a more interesting person – go places, do things, learn about stuff, get educated etc. Also it helps in a conversation to really listen to the other person rather than just waiting for your turn to talk.
I’m not really “anti-social,” but I am rather selective when it comes to those with whom I choose to associate. I live in a Veterans Home with about 900 other veterans and maybe 1500 staff. I’ve categorized them as “cream of the crop,” “crop,” “fertilizer,” and “rocks.” I’d say that of the 2400 people on campus, maybe 5% are not fertilizer or rocks (as in “dumber than a box of…”). Some of the 5% condescend to associate with me. But I effectively ignore the 95%. I mean I don’t even acknowledge their existence unless it’s absolutely unavoidable.
I think of it as “reclusive.” I like my privacy.
Heck, I used to swim competitively. I did the 1500. The event’s close to 20 minutes in length. And you’re in the water all by yourself. Oh, there are other competitors, but you’re swimming against your best time. During workouts you might do three or four repeats of that distance. I used to do math homework during workouts… just to occupy my mind. But, except for relays, swimming is an individual sport.
People have tried to change me. They say innocuous things like, “People need people.” Apparently they don’t… at least I don’t seem to. Or, “Look at what you’re missing.” I don’t feel I’m missing anything.
I had a very wise lady once tell me, “You are exactly where you want to be. It doesn’t make any difference how much you complain about it. If you really didn’t like it, you’d do whatever it takes to change it.”
So it’s up to you to figure out things to talk about. Look at politicians… they talk for hours… years… without having the foggiest notion what they’re talking about. But you know what those with whom you choose to associate talk about. Maybe you could start by finding out a little about those topics. You don’t have to be an expert in anything to babble about it. You really don’t have to be an expert in anything. And, I’ll give you a hint. It’s better being quiet and have people think you’re an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it. Apparently the politicians haven’t learned that yet.
It may sound a little different, but what I do is analyze what people are talking about. If some guys are talking about sports I’ll go home, learn about it for a while, and bam, I can talk to them about it. Find out what people are talking about, if you like what they’re talking about then you’ll most likely get along.
Just be yourself. 🙂 ask a lot of questions and you will find things that you have in common with other people. 🙂