My mother died on March 16, 2013 of this year. I am 34 y/o and I am her only child. My grandfather has life insurance for my mother and I am the beneficiary for both my mother and grandfather. From what I gather, my grandfather is the policy owner, my mother is the insured, and I am the beneficiary (don’t know if I am primary or contingent). Right?
Anyway, my grandfather told me I had to sign some papers because I’m the only one that can sign for the proceeds. And, since he has been the only one paying for the life insurance for more than 20 years, he will keep the proceeds to fix his house. He will also get $8,0 of it because he spent that amount on legal fees for one of his grand children’s lawyers. My aunt, my mother’s older and only surviving sister, decided she would pay for the funeral expenses her self. Now, I have to pay her back for every penny she spent on funeral arrangements. (I had no say in my mother’s funeral arrangements, since I wasn’t the one paying for it. Well, that is how my grandmother put it). If I knew some of the proceeds would have to go to pay my aunt for funeral expenses, I would have had some say in my mother’s funeral arrangements. (I tried throwing out ideas on less expensive arrangements but I wasn’t acknowledged.) I also have to pay for my mother’s headstone, which will also be my headstone, since the burial plots are paid for. (I will be buried in a double depth plot with my mother.) Also, my mother has no estate and that is the reason I have to pay for expenses out of the proceeds. To add, I am the only daughter and grand daughter that has to pay for their parents’ funeral expenses, my own headstone, and grandfathers expenses out of the proceeds, since it can’t come out of my mother’s estate, since there is none. So, when my grandparents die, his only surviving daughter (my aunt), and every grandchild get to keep their proceeds. Also, when my aunt dies, her children get to keep all their proceeds because both my grandparents and aunt have estate. I’m baffled. It seems unfair. I feel betrayed, bullied, and lied to about what the proceeds are going to have to pay for. My grandfather insists that I sign these papers today. He also mentioned that he, my grandmother, my aunt, and myself would need to sit down and talk about the proceeds being distributed evenly amongst all four of us. Hence my question about policy changes. I have a feeling he changed the policy the day after I asked him about the details of the policy. Are the proceeds mine? I hope this is not confusing. I need help. I don’t know what to do. Please shed some light on this horrible situation. If I would have known or been made aware of how I would have to distribute the proceeds from the beginning, I would not be having a problem with this whole setup.
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Only the owner of a policy has the legal authority to change the beneficiary or the policy in any way. However, the beneficiary cannot be changed once the insured is deceased. I would get my hands on that policy number, the name of the company and verify that I was the beneficiary. If so, and you are the primary beneficiary, you are the ONLY one that has any right to the money and can do with it as you please. Your Grandfather cannot change that now and you do not have to put up with the bullying. Don’t sign anything until you have spoken with this company WITHOUT your Grandfather present. Again, if you’re the primary beneficiary, the proceeds will be made payable to you and only you. Based on what you’ve explained about the fact he needs your signature, I have a sneaky suspicion he already knows this.
Additional Info: Since I read your question, I’ve been thinking about it all day. I’m wondering if your Grandfather was paying for this policy on behalf of some agreement he had with your Mother in order to provide for you. This has really been bothering me. Is there a possibility your Mother had no idea of the plans your Grandfather had to use this money for himself? Either way, please call the company. It’s time you became aware of the specifics of this policy. Also, depending upon the amount of this benefit, you may want to speak with an attorney.
Source(s): Owner of an insurance agency. Over 24 years experience. I was a former Life and Health underwriter.
No. Once the insured person dies, the policy coverage is “frozen” as of the date of death, and no more changes can be made.
It would be EXTREMELY unusual for grandfather to be the policy owner, yet name YOU as beneficiary. Just pointing that out. The policy owner almost always names themself as beneficiary – after all, they’re the person who’s been PAYING for the insurance all these years!
Obviously, you need to read – and understand – every word of the paperwork you are signing. The insurance company will pay the named beneficiary directly, and no one can “intercept” the payment – unless the beneficiary signs away their rights to the money.
Whoever signs for the funeral home arrangements, is responsible to pay for the funeral. Period. You do NOT have to pay her back, since you didn’t sign for any responsibility.
Quit whining about “having” to pay for your mother’s headstone. No, you don’t. She doesn’t NEED a headstone. She’s DEAD. She’ll never NOTICE the lack of headstone. Neither will you, for that matter, when you are buried in that plot.
So. If you aren’t up to reading – AND UNDERSTANDING – the paperwork, for goodness sake, don’t sign. There’s no rush on that. There’s no “time limit” for filing that life insurance claim. Next month will work just as well.
You can only be bullied, if you LET yourself be bullied. But please, you’re not “ENTITLED” to any money until the check comes in your name.
He did NOT change the policy after your mother’s death. No one here has READ the policy, we can’t TELL you if you are the primary beneficiary or not. No one here has READ the papers he wants you to sign. YOU WILL HAVE TO READ THEM YOURSELF.
Since you are NOT the policy owner, you do not now, and never have in the past, had the “right” to be informed or aware of any of this.
You don’t have to pay for the funeral expenses, the headstone, or any of the other things you mentioned. Beneficiaries are under no obligation to use the life insurance proceeds for those things. You don’t have to pay her back for any penny. You can say “you wanted to pay for this, you made your decision and spent your money, you’re not getting it back, screw you, I’m keeping the life insurance money for myself”. It would be mean, but you can do that.