I had my son rather young (I’m 21 had him when I was 20 then again its not as young as a lot of people I know now a days) anyhow because of having to support him I ended up not returning to school and I work I get enough money. To support him.. but that’s it just support (he’s 8 months old) he has food some toys clothes a place to live but sometimes when I look at him I know he deserves so much more than I can give, my son is not a mistake but I feel by me making that stupid choice I doomed him to a crappy life. Sometimes I want to find loving stable and supportin parents that can give him everything and more. But it hurts I can’t bring myself to acctually do it because I’m selfish and I want him because he’s so amazing I love him so much has anyone else considered adoption? And if so how did it feel to you?
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Raising your son is the selfless loving option so be proud of yourself for being a mother.
I chose to parent but was bullied and lied into surrendering. I suffer with depression, so does my son which means two lives are damaged by adoption.
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I can tell you this: my husband and I have had plenty of money and *no money at all* in the course of raising our girls.
We.have.been.flat.broke.
Virtually the only time our girls got new clothing was when their grandparents bought it for them. The rest of the time, I shopped garage sales. One time I walked out of the Salvation Army store. You know why? The clothes were too expensive. That’s how broke we were. : )
I put a smiley after that last sentence, because those are actually good memories. It’s about being resourceful and pulling yourself together and going forward with what you’ve been given at the time. Sometimes it meant moving to a place we didn’t think we wanted to go, or taking a job with odd hours.
Your son would rather have you than *any* amount of stuff he could ever ever have. In fact, our girls have friends who had parents who gave them anything they wanted have grown up to be mostly spoiled and ungrateful, rather than than appreciating what they have and working for what they have like our girls do.
If you want some perspective, read (or re-read) the Little House on the Prairie books by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Their family had virtually *nothing* in terms of material items or wealth, but look at the loving way she writes about her family. She wouldn’t have traded them for any amount of “stuff” either.
Raise your son. Treasure him. You have already given him the very best thing you could ever give him – a mom that loves him.
Wishing you well.
Source(s): Adoptee and Adoptive Mom.60
I would never consider adoption. I would never adopt, nor would I ever give up any child of mine for adoption.
Raising your son is NOT selfish. You are already giving him so much… wealth and material things mean NOTHING compared to the love of a mother. Is he healthy? Is he happy? Are you doing everything to ensure that he has a stable upbringing? Then yes you are doing enough. Things are tough now, but you will pull through. You are stronger then you think. xxx
Material objects or staying with my family…
Hmmm..
I can’t give my daughter a pony or a sports car when she turns 17 but she’s looked after, loved, is given most of my time and energy, that is really what children want.
My uncle had everything he could ever ask for off my nan and grandad, he is a spoiled brat with no manners or compassion for anyone but himself and he expects everything for nothing, he doesn’t work for anything.
(Money isn’t everything)
How exactly is wanting to raise YOUR OWN SON selfish? Who told you that?! Be assured that your son is happy to be with his own mother. No amount of money or things could ever take your place! Trust & believe that placing your son for adoption would cause him (not to mention you) more problems that you’d ever, ever know.
It sounds like you are a caring, loving mom to me. Please try and stay positive. Work on getting more confident. With experience, we all tend to do better in life. You are just not replaceable to him.
Source(s): I placed my daughter for adoption when I was a teen and it’s been terrible for her and me. Eventhough we are ‘in reunion’, there is nothing that can make up for the lost time we have and the trust issues that are there. The adoptive mother is a narcissist overcompensating, guilt-tripping b tch who is always trying to get between us. I do not reccomend adoption.
yes adoption is always an option.
abortion never is