How do you start the conversation with your teen about turning down drugs and alcohol?

My kids are 11, 8, and 5, and their mom and I have been making the point about drugs and alcohol since the oldest was in 3rd grade. By that time she had already seen commercials about saying no to drugs and was asking what that was about. That question is a great open door to begin the conversation.

One of the key elements is to spend time with your kids, and always watch for those open doors. Watch TV with them. There are often PSAs about smoking and drugs and drinking on kids TV (generally starting with the TV-Y7 shows). Even if a PSA doesn’t come on, look for behaviors in the show that can open a door. And let the younger kids hear you talking to the older kids. The more they hear the message, the more it becomes a part of their psyche.
– Chosen by Asker

I’ve found one of the best ways to start a conversation with anyone I’m close to about turning down drugs and alcohol is, ironically, by letting them start the conversation. My parents passed this technique down to me. It starts with having information, in this case, about the reality of the dangers of drugs and alcohol around the house where it can be easily found. I would read the information, have questions about it, and there’s the beginning of the conversation. Especially if I came to my parents with information showing how I had discovered how awful drugs and alcohol are, it made it that much easier for them to confirm it. Another way is having family discussions about things that happen in the news. If you’re in the habit of having family discussions about things that happen in the world, it makes it that much easier to have a discussion about how important it is to avoid drugs and alcohol in your life. By having discussions start passively and in the normal course of events and not forced, you also avoid making your child feel defensive in any way, and more likely to accept your beliefs and your communities beliefs as their own. A good illustration of this is when your family is watching the news and there’s a story about a tragic accident involving drugs and / or alcohol. Unfortunately, we don’t have to wait long for one of the these news stories – they happen all the time. Fortunately, this is the perfect time to let your children know how you feel about the story and how your community feels about it. Children pick up on these feelings easily and many adopt it quickly – it can be easier to avoid the pitfalls of our society, like drugs and alcohol, especially if you’ve never been in the habit of using or abusing these substances. But of course you have to somehow have your children rid themselves of any curiousity.

Another easy way to start a conversation, or maybe at least to leave a lasting impression, is to collect and print out the positive responses to this question and have them available for family members.

Also, by involving yourself in helping maintain community standards, either by becoming part of city, county, state, or national events and initiatives, like a task force, study group or council as you have, Mary, or even by just offering this question on Yahoo! answers, you begin to create an environment that, at some point your child may want to enter and join you.

I’ve always adhered to a very plain, commonsense approach to drugs and alcohol since my youth – if I don’t use these substances, there’s less of chance that I’ll be hurt by these substances.

One of the most difficult things to get across, not only to children, but surprisingly, to adults as well, is how dangerous drugs and alcohol are. People think, oh, that could never happen to me. But those are the people that are statistically in the most danger, the most inclined to somehow, someday find themselves becoming a substance abuser. But being close to people who have used 12 step programs to rebuild their lives has led me to believe that too many people at many levels of our society don’t make the connection that drugs and especially alcohol causes a lot of damage and seemingly irreversible disease and hardship on individuals and in our society. Far too often the average person doesn’t see this, and surprisingly, even professionals fail to notice, but there are many professionals in various fields that do notice. Judges, doctors, nurses, substance abuse counselors, journalists, reporters, police officers, and victims of substance abusers, among others know the statistics all too well and from first hand experience. But when they try to tell everyday people that they would do well to avoid alcohol and drugs altogether, sometimes it’s like talking to a brick wall. Sometimes, people have to learn for themselves the hard way, and unfortunately, too many people don’t survive the hard way. If we can show people that they can avoid “the hard way” altogether, we may be able to avoid a lot of other problems caused by substance abuse. Obviously, the more people you can reach, most importantly including children, the better off we shall all be.

Well, I hope I have given some good ideas to start.
Good luck in showing your children the best way for them, Mary, and thanks for an extremely important question!!!!!!

Source(s):
years of personal experience

There are two aspects to this problem that bear addressing: timing and information quality.
From a timing perspective, there is no single best time to discuss substance abuse. The best time is all the time, whenever life presents examples that deserve a further explanation. It could be a celebrity being arrested, a wrestler killing his family or when your child asks what cirrhosis is. Don’t belabor the point, just matter-of-factly address the issue at hand and move on. Don’t follow your explanation up with a question and answer session, because you’ll just bore your child to death, and maybe drive them to drugs.
Information quality is equally important. While fire-and-brimstone speeches may cower and deter some children, others will detect that your words are only so much hyperbole and tune you out. Make sure your facts are straight and weighted properly. Preaching that marijuana is the devil’s tool while touting Scotch as the elixir of the Gods may earn you some points with the Drug Tsar, but it will set your children up for failure from the nation’s number two drug scourge, Alcohol. (Number one: tobacco.) Virtually everything your children consume can have harmful effects, including caffeine, sugar, gristle, etc, so by simply framing the issue in terms of healthy lifestyle choices, you’ll be steering your child in the right direction.
You should also keep in mind that these days the internet provides a convenient tool for fact checking and many teenagers will take advantage of it. If your facts aren’t straight, the enterprising teen will figure this out and then your entire message will be suspect. If you are the parent of one of these teens, take the time to research it yourself. If the facts correct you, let your child know that because if will actually add to your credibility.

You are a brilliant parent to be questioning how to start such a responsible conversation with you child! There is a book titled “Just Say Know” (the above heading is ‘Talking With Kids About Drugs and Alcohol’) and the authors include Cynthia Kuhn, Ph.D, Scott Swartzwelder, Ph.D and Wilkie Wilson, Ph.D from year 22 that goes into some basics about talking to one’s child or teen about the dangers of substance use. (There are even colorized pictures of the different drugs.)

Please do include in your conversation about the serious dangers and consequences of ‘huffing’, also known as inhalants. A friend has a traumatic brain injury (tbi) and other permanent damage including to the bone marrow (the fatty inner lining of the bones that makes blood cells and provides some cushion) damage from inhalants at age 12, now in her 30’s. Inhalants are The worst of all drugs as they are literally poison being put into the body. Huffing can dissolve the protective covering, myelin sheath, of the nerve cells as well as cause permanent damage to other organs (including the brain) such as heart, liver and/or kidneys. And a person can die or become permanently disabled even after ‘just’ One time!

Here is a website for more information of the dangers of inhalants: National Inhalant Prevention Coalition www.inhalants.org

P.S. Perhaps if you haven’t already, you can include in your discussion about other dangers such as ‘the choking game’ also called ‘space monkey’ or the ‘pass out game’ and what is referred to as ‘robo-tripping’. The ‘pass out game’ is when a person puts something around the other person’s neck, perhaps by strangling, (typically) until the person passes out which is supposed to give a cheap, quick high as does huffing. A person might do that alone, however, and place a rope or such around their own neck. Any way is potentially deadly and/or permanently disabling. The person can have a stroke (‘brain attack’) or other complications due to the oxygen being cut off.

And ‘robo-tripping’ is another danger which is when a person drinks the over-the-counter (otc) cough medicine robutussin by the bottle (or a large quantity) merely to get a high which can include hallucinations.

If you have been teaching your kids about the risk of drugs and alcohol every opportunity you have had, e.g. when there are ads in the paper, commercials on TV, news reports in the paper and TV, even pop ups on the internet, and commenting with a sense of sympathy to those you personally know that are struggling with either of those things, then you have already begun. If there just a little less trust with your kids, maybe you can catch them off guide with the topic all of a sudden, in a opportune moment in time, and also avoiding the phrase, “we have to have a talk”. You may begin by asking them if they know of anyone who takes drugs and drinks alcohol. Have an example ready that you can pull off of (it may even have to be the ‘celebrities’ who are getting themselves in trouble today) and have a very good, logical reason(s) why this behavior would change the course of there lives. By showing them that you really love them and that you encourage their future, you must be careful not to criticize, lecture, or show anger. Just the facts in a firm voice and in teen speak may be your defense. And consistency in your example is the best thing along with showing the way and that you care. Repeating this procedure as often as possible will reinforce your commitment to your kids. Having said that, it sure is the lottery, as the worst kids may be fine and the best kids get with the wrong group. But it sure is the parent(s) or guardians who truly love and support their kids that probably have the best chance.

I would say to start BEFORE they’re a teen, because otherwise they’ve heard it a million times from teachers, Web sites, billboards; it’s everywhere. You don’t want your teen to smile politely and half-listen to the things you say and really think, “My gosh, my mother’s an idiot!”

Definitely tell, but start off with, “You know how I drink the odd glass of wine every so often?” or “You know the aspirin/ibuprofen/acetaminophen you take when you get sick or hurt?” so your kid has a reference point, instead of just, “Drugs are bad.”

Also, don’t keep reminding your son about the influence addiction can make on his life. Once or twice, and let his teachers and all the other adults in his life tell him. If the only person he hears it from is his mom, or if he’s constantly being told left and right about the dangers, he’ll start disregarding the things you say to him.

Source(s):
I am a teenager, not a parent. I don’t have a diagnonsense to give for behavioral stuff like adults do. I can just relate to other teenagers.

A conversation doesn’t need to be started with your teen. It should be started with your child far earlier than that. You need to consistently address drugs and alcoholism while the child is being reared, not approach the subject fresh when they are a teenager. By that age, they have already developed most of their life-long skills and personality traits. These days, kids are using illegal substances earlier and earlier. I know that, 15 years ago, I had classmates who were using these substances at the tender age of 12.

I also feel that equally effective is taking initiative and responsibility to always know where your teen is and who they are with. My parents knew where I was 95% of the time when I was growing up, and I did not experiment.

To be honest Mary, I think you should seriously ask yourself about the drugs and alcohol that you, your partner and your friends consume. Then, just be serious, honest and informed with your children. I think its also important to realize that human beings have ingested all sorts of drugs for non-medical purposes throughout history. Let’s be honest, we have always lived in a drug culture. However, kids need to be made fully aware of the risks of drug and alchohol intake, whether they be legal, social, psychological, and physical risks. Ultimately, this is an ethical issue that touches on the difference between the need for responsibility and the desire for excitement and thrills. Kids need to be guided to understand the difference between pleasure and self-destruction, and for that matter, between moderation and addiction. But do remember Mary, that you and the temptations of drug use are being judged by your children when you discuss this issue with them, so whatever you do, don’t allow yourself to appear as hypocritical, preachy or naive.

First of all, I believe these conversations should have been started many years before. Starting at a teen is a bit late. Start talking to your children on the risks of drugs and alcohol from the time they are small. You are not their friend but their parent, don’t discuss the subject like it was cool to do. Kids learn from example. Kids watch everything you do, such as social drinking and getting drunk at parties. Tell them about drinking and driving risks, statistics on drunk driving deaths, brain damage, unacceptable behavior like falling down drunk, being an embarassment to your family, drugs leading to stronger drugs, losing your inhibitions and doing things you may not remember like having sex with someone unprotected. The career you could have had if you weren’t an alcoholic. Health related problems of liver disease, cancer, kidney disease, mind related deficiencies. Taking about these things while being in the car alone, at dinner, following something tragic on tv, like a hit and run accident etc. Always know where your kids are and who they are with. It is better to have children at your home at least you know what goes on in your home. Don’t glamorize drugs and alcohol by commenting on celebrities lives. Talk alot on the subject from time to time.

Source(s):
Worked for Police Dept – Dare programs

I have a daughter that is six and I’ve already starting talking to her about how drugs can affect her life. I’ve talked to her not only about illegal drugs but also about the effects about smoking and alcohol abuse. I’m trying to keep and open and honest relationship with my daughter so that that when she if faced with the pressure of drinking, smoking, or drugs she can feel free to come to me to talk. When I was young I never had these conversations with my parents and ended up trying a few of the more mild drugs, i.e. marijuanna, etc. I’ve explained to my daughter what smoking does to people and that you don’t even have to smoke to be affected, being around someone who smokes can be just as harmful, I’ve explained to her what alcohol does to people and I let her watch the news with me when there’s a report on yet another DUI death. I want her to understand that her body is her temple, and the best way to keep herself healthy is to not use drugs and alcohol period.

I have always explained the dangers of drugs and alcohol to my daughters, and having an open-end conversation will get their prospective on it, and then the parent can meet the child where they are mentally. Some children have a very vivid and creative view of drugs and alcohol because of what they may see on TV. As opposed to those children who may be more sheltered, or parents are more careful of what their child sees on TV. Opening the conversation is more for the parent to understand where that child’s mentality is. Once I talked with my daughters and found out what they thought of alcohol and drugs, I was amazed at how much they knew and how determined they were not to get involved with this type of activity. And because children may witness their parents, and how they will interact with their own peer group, I have started conversations on drinking and alcohol abuse and how different these things are, and what the consequences of these actions are. We talk about alcohol abuse and also prescription drug abuse. Because they may not be aware that taking prescription drug can also have negative effects on them. And while drugs seem like this dark and evil thing to them now, they will interact with people who will glorify them, and trick them into believing that this behavior is acceptable. OK, I ‘m off my soap box.

The mistake as a parent that you’re about to make is trying to convince your child/teen NOT to use alcohol and drugs, which you should not. Parents have always refused to understand that whatever a child (and especially a teen) is forbidden to do, he/she will do it because it basically represents a thrill for them; teenagers like to confront authority.

Of course you want the best for your teen and you want to keep him/her out of trouble, which is every parent’s wish, but you can’t stop them from living their experiences. The ONLY thing you should do, as a parent, in other words as a guide in life, is to show your teens what alcohol and drug ABUSE can do and which consequences will entail from that. Your teen WILL drink alcohol (besides drinking alcohol in itself isn’t a bad thing at all – getting hammered is something else) and MIGHT do drugs at one point during his/her adolescence and that’s part of today’s generation, whether you want it or not, you can’t prevent this, no matter how hard you try. Actually, the harder you try, the lesser will your convincing be efficient.

Let them learn, just like you learned.

I don’t mean to sound discriminatory here but your question very much reflects the American parents’ mentality who try so hard to harbour their kids against all those ”sins” or ”evils” that alcohol, sex and drugs represent. But if you only saw, what happens at their high school parties, even worse is what happens in college, when they’re finally away from any sort of parental authority. Those kids go WILD (seen it with my own eyes) while you think they’re studying for finals; why? because you’ve stiffled them with your don’t do this and that, it’s bad for you blablabla. and as soon as they are away from you, they go all out and poof all your efforts to raise a little angel (perfect kids/teens don’t exist) are gone into smoke.

Set your boundaries, but not all around them, give them advice but don’t impose your opinions/thinking, let them SEE what’s good and bad for them and most importantly, remind them that you’re always there for them.

I have had this dialogue about drugs and alcohol with my children since they were little. Bolstered with information about addiction, we talked mostly about what it is that makes kids (ore even adults) turn to substances–depression, feelings of inadequacy, wanting to be one of the gang, or simply liking the feeling. I have emphasized positive ways of handling feelings — talking it out, exercise, meditation, focused imagery — to give the children tools to handle their feeling. I let the kids contribute as much as they can, dispel myths, and take into account their level of sophistication.

I think it is important that you stick to facts, and give examples, and not rely solely on feelings when you talk to your teen. Do some role playing:ask them what they would do in particular situations. Share it as your love and concern for their well being. If you yourself used drugs or alcohol (and your child knows about it) let them know how it affected you and the changes in knowledge we now have about the adverse effects of these substances. (Don’t do it while smoking a cigarette! LOL) If they don’t know about your history, you can bluff it saying that you knew someone who… and give examples of how use of these substances affect judgment, leading to breaches of the law and morality.

Good luck.

Most important is Do Not Lie about your own hisrtory with whatever you are attempting to steer your child away from. If you do not have personal experience you will need to make sure you get accurate information. these types of conversations have to get set up from very early in your childs life,meaning that if you don’t normally talk with your child there is no way you are going to get through to them about alcohol,drugs,sex,and other important issues, therefore it is crucial that you establish a friendship as well as a parent-child relationship with your child. Don’t beat around the bush just get it out in the open and be prepared to jumpstart the conversation when your son stops it with the famous “ok”. Most important is Be Patient. Good Luck…….

I’m not a parent, but as a child, I would like my parents to discuss this with me. Maybe something like “You know, I don’t know how parents out there deal with their kids having drug and alcohol problems” and take it from there. One thing I noticed, even with myself, is that kids and teenagers nowadays don’t like to be told what to do (sadly), because with the information explosion, parents are by large, not the sole source of knowledge. So, I guess you can make this a discussion. Discuss how he/she feels about drugs and alcohols, and how you would feel about it.

I agree that TV shows and movies could be use full in this case. Also, if you have personally had, or know of others who have had bad experiences with drugs, alcohol, or even sex, talk about it. Tell your child what happened to you, talk about how many people die every day. Show pictures of meth addicts who look like death walking. I personally DO believe in RESPONSIBLE drinking, but others don’t. Tell your children that peer pressure is hard to deal with, let them know that you have faith in your child, and that he or she can always talk to you about ANYTHING, and do your best not get angry in front of them when they do. Get involved in their life, like that phone comical, ask what their up too.

1] prepare ahead of time. Make sure you and your spouse know what you are going to share, and not share, about your own experiences.
2] make sure you know your facts – if you don’t know the answer, say ‘”I’ll look it up” and do it that day!
3] bring it up wherever and whenever opportunity presents itself – commercials, movies, news reports, school health classes, religion – always discuss it, and always answer as much as you can at their level.
4] be honest – coffee is a drug [ caffeiene ], tobacco is a drug, aspirin/motrin/tylenol is a drug. Explain the difference first between drugs/alcohol and potential bad outcomes; then addictive vs. recreational [ social vs. drunkeness ], then potentially lethal habits [ tobacco ], then ‘just’ bad habits [ coffee ].
5] car rides are excellent opportunities – the kids feel ‘safer’ talking about sensitive subjects when they don’t have to look directly at you – you have to learn to listen without looking , though.
I’ve been asked the most incredible questions in the car, in public, everywhere – about sex, drugs, VD – take them aside in public, but just answer in the car.

When I was little there was marijuana around me as if it was cigarette tobacco. After a while I figured out what it was and started smoking it. I still do.

But as I’ve seen in my own life as well as other children (I’m now 21) it’s difficult to succeed in life. I also suffer from emotional problems so that plays a role in part of my unsuccessful career.

In high school it got to the point I smoked everyday, it tasted good and it felt great being high. I don’t necessarily thing that weed is a drug but by law it is.

In high school I quit going to class and doing my school work I got suspended all the time I was expelled from a Christian school. I finally dropped out at 18 and I still don’t have a GED.

But don’t for one second think that I’ve done other drug. Marijuana is not a gateway drug. Ecstasy and Cocaine are. I have not tried either one to know that high but I have seen every drug addict out there.

My friend took ecstasy and in her promiscuity not only did she get knocked up at 18 but she also contract the herpes virus thankfully she had my godson c-section. Later in live she got addicted to crack and had her son taken away.

A cousin of mine was into crack that she smoked during pregnancy and now has an autistic child that she doesn’t even have custody too. She does also will do anything for those drugs.

I know a man who lost complete custody of his son and is now a foster child, because of his heroin addiction.

I know a 16 year old boy who died last year of a crystal meth addiction. One of his best friends who also does meth is 14 years old. He has felony charges on his permanent record.

I know a 17 year old boy who has sex with old men just so he can score a $20 rock his girlfriend also 17 has scabies and recently found out she has aids.

The way all these people look are different but you can see the drugs in their faces. The 17 year old girl looks like she in her 40s.

Another person I know has children with two different men both of which are now addicts. One doesn’t pay any child support and would rather be high on crack then see his children, who has unfortunately suffered by seeing there father in such a way. Neither child has respect for that man.

The second father abandoned is pregnant wife who was not working because he said he would “take care of everything”.

I’ve seen a lot of addicts in my life and I know when I have children I’m going to quit smoking marijuana and cigarettes and I will have a lot of stories to tell my children of how drugs can harm anyone.

I took Ritalin when I was a child and all the problems I had from the side effects I just never wanted to try anything else. Thank god because I wonder how worse my life could be on anything else.

Teens are a difficult time to START talking. Things they hear and see in school have already been witnessed/learned. They consider themselves more mature and know almost everything (They think). Depending on the area you live teens are already too late start the talk.

Much of it depends on the relationship you have with your son AND how much you and him can talk without daggers pointed at each other.
I agree with a TV show, documentary, or movie about drug/alcohol problems to get the subject started.

I would recommend maybe during the show at key places start a simple conversation to bring up certain instance where something may have effected you or how someone in the show was effected. Even a quick comment at how dumb someone was for doing something in the show, just to see his reaction. This can kind of gauge how he feels about the overall discussion with you.

Depending on his reaction: Simply ask!!! and start the talking. If he doesn’t react very well get additional help.

I don’t think it’s a ‘conversation’ or a ‘sit-down’ that parents have with their children. Parents all over the country must be having that same awkward talk with their children, and I don’t think it is doing any good.

Parents need to be a living example by practicing frankness and good choices every day. Critical thinking skills, the ability to say ‘no’, and ethical character development are what parents should model for children. Parents must also be aware that kids will experiment anyway – and have the fortitude to resist hysterics.

I don’t really know how to answer this question, my friends do drugs, I’ve told them to stop many times too. The best thing you could do now is to tell them you’re there for them, show them that they don’t have to be afraid of telling you things like this. That they can always rely on you. Also, you could have small talks with them, like when they’re doing something fun, tell them how taking drugs could take that privilege away. But don’t take it up all the time, you children might think that you don’t trust them enough to say no. But just say it enough so that they know how harmful drugs can be. I think that if a child can rely on there parents, they won’t have to rely on drugs to take away there stress, even thought it only increases it, if your son has had people around him his age that told him taking drugs makes him less stressful, he could easily be baited, especially if he is a teenager.

I suggest you to acquire as many drugs as you can and on a monthly basis, allow your teen to do the drug to understand its effects, and of course do it in your house so you can make sure they are safe.

Tell them that just because a drug is legal, doesn’t mean it is safer. There are only two people in the world: responsible and irresponsible.

Drunks who drink and drive are irresponsible. A person who smokes marijuana and drives is irresponsible. Remember that Mark Twain said, “Everything in moderation, including moderation.”

I loathe politicians or doctors who say a drug is dangerous, even though they have not tried it at all. How can you legislate against a drug without personal experience.

Alcohol and tobacco kill thousands of people a year from cancer, traffic accidents, et cetera, yet they are legal. Other drugs such as some cacti, mushrooms, salvia divinorum are legal yet they are just as dangerous.

Alcohol was illegal and our government repealed the 18th amendment. Why? Marijuana became illegal because the government found that smoking marijuana produces inter-racial relationships.

The San Pedro cactus contains hallucinogens. Nutmeg, Morning Glories and Deadly Nightshade also contain psychoactive ingredients, yet they are legal.

Tell your teenager that you want them to be responsible and put school first. And until they have graduated high school, school is the first priority. Your teen’s friends are not going to graduate high school for them. Self-reliance is key. You have to help yourself.

Source(s):
me brain.

My children and I were (and are) very close. When the time came for the drug and alcohol talk I simply said ‘there’s something important we need to talk about.’ It was easy with my kids because there are people in my family who are addicted to drugs and alcohol and they could see what happens if you start and can’t stop. I also helped them understand that even using drugs and alcohol in small amounts was not acceptable and when they asked why I explained that drugs are illegal and with some drugs it only takes one use to become addicted. The alcohol use was a little harder, but I explained how damaging it is to your liver and that it, too, is illegal unless you are 21. I’m glad to say that both of them made wise decisions and have grown into responsible adults who don’t do drugs and who do not drink. I suppose I was lucky, but would like to think that the example I set for them by not doing those things myself helped a little.

I often sit with my 12 yr old daughter and watch “cops” when it comes on, and she loves Dog “The Bounty Hunter” so we watch that as well, and when a situation takes place, I express to her what happens if you take that certain drug, and like most of them, they can mess your life up and make you do crazy things that you would never even imagine doing.

There is another educational show on once in a while on prisioners, they are all in jail and filmed inside the jail to show what takes place, why these people are in there and how tough it is to survive.

Also, there are rehab centers, and hospitals that might offer some support, such as having kids talk to other kids who’s lives were impacted by drugs.

Anything educational to do with teaching kids why and what these drugs do- not what they CAN do, but what they DO and CAUSE you to do- this is the most influencial education you can present them with. Something realistic that is not made up, it is real,The more reastic the more impact you have.
Drugs are real, and the problems they cause real.

I am just about to start my 2nd year of high school, and since I was in middle school I remember all of the influences that drugs and alcohol have. My mom is in recovery, therefore I know about almost every type of drug, and drinks and stuff. My ma is definitely my anti drug. Along with my youngest older sister who is a non-recovering alcoholic, and my friend from 5th grade who went to a crappy school and got caught up in pot. I’ve had so many good examples of what drugs do, and how they are dangerous, that I’m never going to touch them. Personally, I think that if you want to keep your kid from drugs and alcohol, do not keep any in the house! That’s just common sense, but I understand that some parents like the occasional beer and/or shot. If you care about your kids, save it for the bar. 2nd, KNOW WHO YOUR KID HANGS OUT WITH. I know that’s common sense too, but so many parents are oblivious as to who their child hangs with. This is the case for the friend I spoke of. As for the watching tv, if it works, then keep on with it. Try to be as understanding, compassionate, and most of all, PATIENT with your teen. There’s nothing we dislike more than someone who thinks they know how we feel. They might, but even if you think you do, just sit down and ask how your kid feels. That’s something my mom has a hard time with. She guesses what I’m thinking about, and gets pissed off when I tell her not to guess, but ask. Anyway, this is just one more teen testimonial, and I hope it helps any parents who happen to stumble upon it!

Best wishes, your Monkey Butt

Source(s):
Being a teen

First off…do your homework so you the parent know what drugs are out on the streets/schools that your kids have access to…and there are many more than there was back in our day.
Then sit down and let them know what the drugs are, what they claim to do and their side effects. Also their long term after effects.
Health-wise. Liver damage…looking much older than you actually are. Brain damage. Mental problems (anxiety)…the list goes on, all the way down to death.
Give your child opportunity to educate you on what they know and who has already approached them. Keep communications open.
If they are already experiencing heavy peer pressure…look at sending your child to private schools or schools in other jurisdictions. Your child’s life does matter.
Be honest and open, and if your child is already addicted to drugs…be supported by getting them into clinical “dry out” centers that can counsel and help them to get off what they are on.
Be open to communication…
yelling at your child resolves nothing. Be understanding and direct.
Love prevails, and a parent who loves their child will assist their child through these years of peer pressure. Listen to them. Most kids who experiment do so for a reason. Drugs and alcohol abuse happens in all classes of population. The rich kids and the poor kids…are affected.

Source(s):
Life

Well as a teen that smokes pot almost regularly I have go to tell you that if your teen wants to do drugs there is very little you can. Sure you could stop them by being a strict, scheduled mother watching him every minute and making sure you know where he is every moment but even if you did all that your son would still be able to find some way to do drugs so as a parent you don’t want to hear this but the only thing you can do is slow this down if your son really wants to do drugs he will find a way no matter what you do. Of course everyone who reads this is going to think I am a dumb@ss but when a teen wants to do drugs there is very little anybody can do to stop them.

Im 17, and personally i think it would have helped me more if i could have seen what happend to the people that do these drugs, i don’t want stories, i would want pictures, before and after they started. It depends on how sensitive you are and how much you can take seeing but i think it has to be enough to make you feel sorry for the other person and say to yourself that you would neve want to be like that. You need to be reminded all the time, but don’t over do it. High School is probably when you are at the most risk, but i know that people start in junior high and even a very few in elementary. I know of old friends that im no longer with who did exstacy before they even did alchohol or cigarettes, at the age of 15. Drugs are easy to come by in high school and i think guys and girls are both as easilly volnerable. I know that most teens that i have seen usually get offered the alchohol, cigarette or any other drug, for free the first time the take it. Then they get addicted and think its cool. I can name atleast 3 kids that do marjuana at my school. there are about 30 kids at my school, so its atleast 10%.

I am a teenager who has never felt the need to use drugs and alcohol even though many of my friends have many of their own problems. My mom never played on the taboo of illegal substances, for example, I have never felt the need to go out with friends to hang out and drink because my parents took the stance that if they were having a drink, I could take a small sip and I found that I really hate the taste of alcohol. To me there is nothing big, forbidden and dangerous, or even appealing about drinking. As far as the drugs go, its was always the fact that if I started smoking or anything like that I would not be able to run and play sports or play the saxophone. Also, We had a guest speaker with a tracheoma, a smoker, come into our school in maybe 6th grade, and it was a bit of a scare tactic, btu I’ve never been tempted. Make sure he knows that if he gets stuck somewhere, he can call you for help, regardless of the situation, without feeling like he is going to get into big trouble, because kids make mistakes and are more apt to try to hide them from their parents if they think they will be in trouble. Also, encourage other interests and activities; if he stays busy, active, and sees how much better it is to be healthy and take care of himeself, there’s a better chance of him not becoming interested. Drugs have a certain appeal when they are shrouded in mystery. Take away all of the myth and present him with the facts, and real examples, and keep an open relationship with him where he can feel willing to talk to you about his life. It worked on my and my sister.

I think it needs to start WAY before their teens. My children are in grade school and know about drugs/alcohol. I personally have 1-2 drinks a year, if that. My husband might drink 12 beers a year, with pizza or jumbalaya…LOL. My oldest questioned me on that – stating that alcohol was bad and wrong. I taught her about moderation and responsibility.

I point out celebrities who have major issues with drugs/alcohol. I talk to them about how successful they were – and now they are deep in despair because of being irresponsible with drugs/alcohol. I express concern for them. I point out role models who take care of themselves.

If it’s an on-going conversation you have – it’s healthy. “The talk” isn’t a one-time, sit down affair. It’s an on-going talk/relationship.

I will also disclose my past mess-ups and how I either a) handled them successfully and responsibly or b) how I messed up and how I wish I WOULD have acted.

Just being truthful and honest is great. Don’t exaggerate – when they learn you’ve “lied”, they’ll not trust any other advice.

Also, make sure they know that their life is worth more to you than anything else – make them secure that you can be called in for help if ever in a situation where they don’t feel comfortable. Let them know you’d rather get a call to come pick them up rather than get a call from the morgue.

I have had the mixed blessing of traveling with my children throughout many different neighborhoods (live in NYC).
Unfortunately (or fortunately) there are often times people who are sadly trapped in the cycle of drug & alcohol abuse while transferring trains, buses, etc…
Since they were very small – I have always said to them when they ask me “why are those people like that?” they are sick & that’s the effect using cocaine, heroine, marijuana, and alcohol has on you.
I explain to them that many of those people probably thought that they would not become addicted and even thought it would be “fun” , “cool” or didn’t want to look like a punk by not doing it, but the chemicals take over & they can’t help themselves, they only want to get more because the chemicals “call” them to get more & more.
I feel a little sorry for people who keep their children wrapped in the “blind” surburbs – sadly, they will be more likely to find drugs and get “hooked” because the community is blinded by “it won’t happen here” attitude.
Don’t let this happen to your child!
Talk to them – hopefully you have been talking to them for many years up to this point & it will be easier. If you have not spent time talking to your child – it may be that much harder, but not impossible. The non-talkers may have to rely on another adult of confidence to have the conversation with.
Remember – we were all teens once – my mother personally never spoke to me about much of anything nor did she listen so I made a vow to not let that happen to my children – just be straighforward – watch a movie where drugs are loosely tangled into the storyline to break the ice. Let them know that it is NOT ok to “do it in the house” & let them know that you are not a champion of underage drinking or any drug abuse!
btw – my 23 yo son detests marijuana smoking & doesn’t have time for other drugs – he is a responsible drinker.
My 16 yo daughter is ready to send all of the mj smokers to an island so they “don’t have to pollute the rest of us with their poison”

Source(s):
My own experience