Is my friend right to be mad at me? She says I ruined her wedding!!!!?

It’s her day, if she wanted you to wear a potato sack you should have (without altering it).

To me it sounds like you really wanted to be noticed – that’s not the idea, again – it’s her day.

I would have been pissed too, beyond pissed and I’m a guy.

You need to seek help to find out why you so desperately need to be noticed that you would try to upstage your friend on her wedding day.

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I understand your wanting to be different and stand out, but a bridal party is not the place for it.

Usually the bridal party is somewhat uniform in look, and often the maid of honor has the same dress as the other attendants (with perhaps a different bouquet or jewelry). By wearing the dress she picked out, you would not have looked common.

The one person who should have stood out that day was the bride. I fear you have taken that away from her, no matter how innocent or “artistic” your intent. For that one day, you should have let her shine and stayed to the background.

At the very least, you could have contacted her and told her about your plans to alter the dress design and what you were going to do with your hair and asked her if she was OK with it. It was not something you should have decided on your own and surprised her with at the last minute.

I wouldn’t say you ruined her entire wedding, but the photos will be a constant reminder to her.

Do what you can now to mend the friendship. I would start with an apology for hurting her feelings. Good luck.

Yeah that wasnt too cool. You took it apon yourself to alter the dress without even asking her. The whole thing could have been avoided had you asked her, because she prolly would have said no and that would be that. Also that was to be her special day her day to stand out not you. Just because you are the maid of honor doesnt mean you need to look different then anyone else. Some women chose for there maid of honor to look different but some dont. It isnt your day to stand out or to be known as the maid of honor you should have been content with knowing that she wanted you by her side. It was a wedding not a way to show off your creative ability. Especially not even letting her know that you had plan to make any adjustments seems sneaky,un friend like and selfish. Especially just showing her the day before the wedding. She has all rights and reasons to be mad at you. To be honest if you would have done that to me on my night and we were friends i wouldnt talk to you again either. Just reading your question pisses me off. Hopefully for most people that is there only one wedding there special day and you ruined it. If she was your best friend and you have known her since 3 years old you think you might have stopped a second before you started making your own “creative adjustments”

Yes your friend was totally right to be mad at you. It was her wedding not yours. You say that you “never look common”. Did you mention to her PRIOR to picking up the dress that you wanted to add your own little decorations/alterations to the dress? And blue streaks in your hair? Come on now….

Just think. This poor girl has to look at your dress and blue streaked hair in her wedding pictures/wedding video for the rest of her life! YOU wanted to stand out and you DID. That was really crummy of you. You are lucky that she even allowed you to be in the wedding. Wow, people talk about bridezillas-but what you did totally took the cake! The attention should be on the bride and groom-not on anyone else.

Stop trying to make her talk to you. Give her some time. Maybe because you two have been “friends” for such a long time, she might find it in her heart to forgive you if you give her some space (and a REAL apology!). But I think that this relationship might be a goner…..

Well, it may not seem that bad to you, but coming from a bride to be, that sounds terrible! The wedding is not about you, or standing out. Its about her and her husband. 1)It wasnt your decision to choose a different top. If she was okay with that, she would have told you. 2)You embroidered the top without permission. Artist or not, this wasnt your call. 3)Blue streaks to match the dress? This was a wedding, not a rave. I think it was extremely selfish of you to take matters into your own hands. It is common sense that a bridesmaid (moh or not) is not allowed to call the shots in a wedding!

My bridesmaids all asked me before they even bought a pair of black shoes to go with their dresses. Its not that I told them they HAD to, but it was just a common courtesy they chose to give me, which I greatly apreciate.

I do however think it was a little excessive of the bride to say you ruined her wedding, and to ball her eyes out over it. But, I know weddings can be a very emotion time, especially when it is your own. There is so much hard work involved when planning a wedding, that you want all your hard work to pay off and have everything go exactly how you want it. When something gets messed up its extremely frustrating because some of your hard work just went out the window.

Ultimately, what you did to your hair, dress, etc…Was all for YOUR sake. Not the brides. It did not benefit the bride whatsoever. You were in the wrong.

Source(s): bride to be, it would have pissed me off too!

A wedding is a very personal and special day for the bride and the groom.

It is their day to shine, not the other members of the party. Not the guests.

It is the one day they get to choreograph from start to finish.

Some brides ask their brides maids and maid of honor to choose a dress which stays within the theme and colors of the wedding, however, most brides choose the dresses themselves.

By agreeing to be in the wedding and accepting the invitation to be her maid of honor, you accept these rules, too.

It is completely inappropriate to change ANY aspect of the outfit chosen for you, without first asking the bride if it would be okay and abiding by her wishes if she says it is not.

You do not have to accept being in someone’s wedding, but when you do, you are accepting your assigned role, even if that means you don’t get to “be yourself.”

Great. You’re creative and like to stand out. That’s fantastic.

Just do it at your own wedding.

You owe your friend a HUGE apology for a gigantic breach of etiquette. If you really care about her, let her know you’ve learned that you were completely out of line, and that while it was not your attention to distract from her idea of what her perfect day would look like, you completely understand her feelings and are humbly sorry and hope she will find a way to forgive you.

I’ve had to wear the ugly maid of honor dress myself, and you know what? It was no big deal. My friend’s wedding was lovely and I had a fabulous time. Peach lace dress with matching peach silk pumps and all.

It was pretty rude of you not to tell her beforehand. The last 48 hours before a wedding are THE most stressful for the bride, and you were too busy being ‘expressive’ to think about your friend’s feelings. You probably looked fine, but you should have at least taken her feelings into consideration. It was her wedding, not yours. She’ll get over it, and one day you’ll both probably laugh about it, but you need to do some serious apologizing. With all the extra glitz and glamour you added to it, she probably (possibly subconsciously) thought you were trying to steal the spotlight. If she wanted all the dresses to be the same, you had no right to go and change things just because you didn’t like it. She’s the bride, she picks the attire. You should have known that when you accepted your invite.

You really should have talked it over with her first. While normally clothes are a way for you to express yourself, weddings are different. She planned everything, from the flowers to the side dishes being served and including your outfit. And you showed up and basically told her with your actions that either 1) her plans suck and you need to spice them up or 2) your ego is so important that you can’t wear something normal for your friend for just half a day.

I know you didn’t mean to do that–you just didn’t realize it was so important. Weddings are the bride’s day–if she wants you to wear prisoner orange, wear prisoner orange or turn down the bridesmaid offer.

Doing your own thing on a day when she had the cumberbunds ordered to match the dresses is wrong because you have screwed with her work of art–she planned the way she wanted things to look down to the last detail, and you splashed some paint of your own on it. She’ll forgive you for it, but you do owe an apology.

Well, I understand you are an artist and all but it is a bit self absorbed of you to change her plan because you wanted to stand out. The only person who should stand out at the wedding is the bride herself. The wedding is about her not you. Even so, if you guys are really great friends this incident should not have ruined the wedding. When it comes down to it, the wedding was about her marrying someone she loves not the dresses and superficial stuff. She should get over it already. The best thing you can do is to apologize sincerely and let her know you really didn’t mean to ruin her day. If she can’t accept your apology, then she has larger issues to deal with.

I would have to say yes, you were wrong to assume it was okay to alter the dress she picked out for her wedding. You not only picked a different top but embroidered it with something she didn’t approve. This wasn’t some party, it was her wedding. And as far as the blue streaks, that’s great if this is “you” but again, this was her wedding and may not have been the look she wanted for her wedding pictures she’ll look at for the rest of her life.

I would just give her time to cool off and if she doesn’t want to rekindle the relationship, then let it be.

A bride has her idea of her perfect day. When you agree to be in her wedding, you need to follow what she wants- no matter how “boring or common” it might seem to you.

I think you should have asked. Maybe if you would have asked first, she might have thought it to be a good idea for you to stand out a little bit, being the MOH and all. But the fact that you went ahead without even mentioning it to her is probably what made her freak out.

There is no going back now- the “damage” is done, pictures and videos taken that show you looking “unique” she is going to have constant reminders of how you “ruined” her day. All you can do is continue to apologize and hope that over time she will get over it and your friendship will prevail over the hurt feelings.