Is this short poem good?

It kills me not to know but it’s as far as my heart will let me go.

Searching for peace at my time of rest and praying for life yet waiting for death.

Like the dew that comes with the night to the bats and crows and will take flight

We wait to find a world we know but the streets are paved with cobbled stone

We knew the old and yet we sold, our way of life our future’s gold.

Find your path and hold to hope and pray to God and forget the rope.

As the light fades, the dark consumes the merry songs turn to blues

The song of life is left undone; the burden you felt is felt by none

I saw a crow the other day; it sang a song you used to play

The birds will fly and the roster crow but why you left I’ll never know

Update:

a crow is an omen of death if that helps

✅ Answers

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  • Yeah its really good. But i dont understand where the “crow” thing came from in the last but one line? Is it cuz u wanted to put up all the rhyming words together or can you explain that? Im literally breaking my head up with thay line :p

    And the “pray to god” line was really perfect. I liked the way how you put in words to match the meaning.

    One such poem ive read. 🙂

    Good luck. (y)

  • It’s seems really deep and like it took a while to come up with it. My friend and I do this kinda thing too. I recognized a lot of symbolism in your poem. The ending was unexpected but that’s what you want your audience to feel and to see. So overall I think it’s pretty good. And if this has anything to do with a recent break up or something close to that I’m sorry.

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  • Yes

  • This is really great! It’s like tongue in cheek but in a deep way.

  • Yes, I really like it.

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