I’m fifteen and I’m currently 5 months pregnant, when the babys born my older sister who is 25 wants to adopt him. She has her adoption attorney and were gathering adoption papers together. But I think that my boyfriend and his mom will fight me I. Court for custody of the baby. My boyfriend is seventeen though will be eighteen by the time the baby is born. He does not have a job or license and is on probation as of right nnow. His mother is not fit to be a parent let alone a grandparent. They have trouble paying bills and she just had her car repoed. At first my boyfriend didn’t not want me to have the baby and hated me for not aborting hIm. Which I have proof of in some text messages. My sister already has 2 kids, and is saving money to buy her own house with her husband after the baby is born. She lives with her inlaws right now. I wanted to know that if I were to go to court with my sister, and fight them would they end up getting custody? I understand the situation is sorda trashy and I am way to young to even be pregnant. Iv already established that, so any negative comments will be ignored. I’m just asking help from anyone who has been in a similar situation or a lawyer of any kind. Thankyou.
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I work in the adoption field. Biological fathers have legal rights in all states. Whether the father of your baby can successfully prevent the adoption depends on the specific circumstances of your case and your state’s laws on father’s rights.
In my state, the judge will look at things like whether you were married, if the birthfather supported you during the pregnancy (financially, emotionally, went to doctor’s appointments etc), and if he would provide a safe and suitable home. You mentioned that your baby’s father is on probation. Was it for a violent crime? Selling drugs? Has he ever been abusive? Does he have other children for whom he does/does not provide support? These are things that a judge will likely take into consideration when determining placement. Poverty alone is not a sufficient reason to deny parental rights.
Contrary to what a previous poster mentioned, birth fathers do NOT have to agree to the adoption. I do not know of a single state in which this is the case. We have had plenty of cases in which birth fathers either abandoned the birth mother during her pregnancy or, in more rare cases, contested the adoption (and lost). Attorneys can determine how to terminate his parental rights so that the adoption can proceed, if that is what is best for this baby.
Does he really want to raise this baby? It sounds like his mother is driving the opposition to the adoption. Contested adoptions can be financially costly and emotionally taxing for all involved. It may be more practical for him to get on board with the adoption, knowing he can still be in his child’s life, to some extent. Some birthfathers will consent to an adoption if there is some degree of “openness.” Your attorneys can work with him to draft up a contact after adoption agreement, in which, if it is safe, he can receive annual updates about the child’s well being, and perhaps even visits. We have had more than one case in which a birth father (and his mother) was opposed to the adoption, but once he realized he wouldn’t be completely cut out of the child’s life, he whole-heartedly consented to the adoption. In some states, these agreements are legally enforceable, and are treated like contracts. In other states, they are more like a good faith agreement. Check with your attorney to see what the laws are in your state.
It might be good if your attorneys could plan a mediation with the birth father. Looking at this from his perspective, he might feel like a failure. He may know that he wouldn’t be a suitable father right now. He’s a young man, financially unstable, and has a criminal past. He probably doesn’t have a gleaming image of himself and what he can provide for his son. Your sister being able to provide a better home for his child might be a blow to his ego. Or, he could just be contentious as a means of punishing you. Adoption attorneys and social workers are used to dealing with these kinds of emotions, and may help him to work through his feelings to think in a more level-headed way.
Find your own attorney to represent you, if at all possible. That way, there is no conflict with the interests of your sister. Make sure your attorney and your sister’s attorney are specifically knowledgeable about practicing adoption law, and not just taking on an occasional adoption case on the side here and there. If this is going to be a contested adoption, you NEED attorneys who know what they’re doing. This is the single-most important thing you and your sister can do.
Start by looking at the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys (“AAAA”) and look for attorneys on the list in your state. Your state may also have a separate association for adoption attorneys. AAAA and state organizations of the like have strict requirements for acceptance. They seek to ensure that its members are incredibly knowledgeable and experienced.
You can also proceed with this as an agency adoption. Agency adoptions can be a bit more costly, but they are sometimes worthwhile, as they can provide valuable resources, like counseling for you, among other things.
Another option is for your sister to pursue guardianship. Guardianship is different from adoption, since biological parents still retain some rights. Your sister could eventually pursue adoption, after being a legal guardian for some time. In my state, if the biological parent doesn’t provide financial support or meaningful contact with the child for 2+ years, then the guardian can petition for adoption. Every state’s laws on adoption and guardianship are different, which is why it’s very important to get an attorney/agency involved.
Best wishes to you!
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What if you moved in with your sister after the baby is born, and gave her legal guardianship? That will give the father some time to either step up and demonstrate that he actually wants to be a father to this child, or it will give time to show a judge that this person cares nothing about his child and only wants to fight you because it gives him power and control over you.
After a half year or so in which the father does nothing to financially support his child, doesn’t visit his child, etc., you will have a case for terminating his parental rights.
Wishing you, and your baby, well.
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Your sister and her husband should move out of her in-laws house ASAP. Any apartment that’s clean, safe and big enough for them and three children. This will give them some leverage. As long as they’re mooching off his parents, they aren’t providing a home for the baby. Other than that, your say in your baby’s life will have a great effect and you can talk about how you do not think your boyfriend or his mother are proper guardians for the baby.
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It’s up to a judge what’s going to happen. He has rights because he is the father and your sister has a good position to raise the child. It’s 50/50 chance. I’ve been in a similar position only the father didn’t care. Even if he did I left to another country and gave it up for adoption to my mom and my mom won’t get off my *** they always bother me with the child. The always want me to do everything for the child they bother me for everything. I got sick of it and sick of getting treated like trash so I kick them out of my life completely. U are not geting out of the responsibility u will still need to be responsible for it if u give it to your sister I don’t recommend family at all give it to some one else that’s not a friend or family. U should consider keeping it and talk to your bf and tell him to get it together if he does than keep it if not then give it away don’t be a single mom but giving it to ur sister is same as keeping it she will bother u for everything always.
I am not an attorney, however, in most states, if not all, the father has every right to the baby. Your sister will have to get him to sign off parental rights before she will be able to adopt the child.
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OK, possibly contested adoption: Don’t do it. You want your sister to raise your baby for now, OK. You can do that without adoption, so tell them the adoption is off the table.
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They have a chance of gaining custody. Unless you can prove that your boyfriend will be a bad dad he has every right to gain custody of your baby. The only way realistically of stopping him is to be a mother.
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Your sister will not be adopting your baby without the consent of the baby’s father.
Source(s): Choose your partners more carefully1
If I were in your shoes, I’d definetly be thinking of adoption. I would give him or her to a family that’s equipped to take of him or her, not another family member because that would probably just cause problems later on down the line. Just my opinion.
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