my husband and I are trying to save money so we are living with his parents. I am at his parents house mostly on the weekends and during the weekday, I go and stay with my single mom. I try to help her out around the house since my mom works full time. We have enough money to move out, but my father in law suggested we save money and move in with them. My husbands family has their own company and my husband works the hardest because his father does not want employees think the company is unfair. My husband also gets paid the least for this reason. I feel like he is getting paid the least because my husband is an only son and his parents do not want him to move out.
Another conflict in the household is that I am Christian and his parents are Buddhist. My husband says he is Christian but he feels that he has to obey his parents and follow Buddhist rituals. Twice every year they prepare a big meal for “ghosts” of their ancestors to visit and I am forced to be apart of it. My Christian family does not approve, but my in-laws want me to cook the meal that they’re going to throw away anyways.
Also, my father in law goes on business trips often and my mother in law is a diabetic. He tells my husband to take care of my mother-in-law and dont let her eat ONE meal alone because she is irresponsible with her diabetes. She loves sugary foods and doesnt care if it is bad for her. He makes my husband take off work to take her to a doctor, take her blood sample everyday, etc. When he is home, he goes golfing with his buddies and never has time for her. All the things he cant do for his wife, he makes my husband do it. He does like to spend time with her.
Whenever i ask my husband when we’re going to move out, he gets angry and tells me to be patient with him. that he is trying to save money.
We only filed for marriage but we did not have a wedding yet. The reason we filed is because of his green card status was expiring and we were going to get married anyways. The wedding is next year and he tells me we have to wait until after the wedding. I feel as if we’re never going to move out. How can I get away from his parents? ? ?
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have you ever thought that you are a “green card ticket”? If you have to live with someone it sounds as if you would be better off at your Mum’s, with or without this man.
The way they are acting is just natural in their culture. This is the way they will always act. He may be using you to get a green card. You might marry him and then still be expected to not move out from his parents. In his culture, it is tradition for a man to live with his parents and bring a bride home to live with them also, after marriage? If so, this is how it will be for you. You will be staying at home to watch over the mother and to do all the housework while your husband goes to golf and business trips. You are slinging off at Bujddhist customs, but I am sure they would find some Christian ones just as baffling. Saying the wafer is the body of Christ and then eating it like a cannibal, and having depictions of a man being tortured on the cross in Church buildings and around people’s necks as jewellery. What about when you go to a buffet meal and what is left on the serving platters is thrown away? At Christian weddings this happens.
youi two need to move out and be on your own
move out on your own.