Question for parents with a physically disabled/scarred child?

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My daugther is 11 yrs old and has 3rd degree burns on both her arms (from her hands to her shoulders). I know it is my responsibility to just BE THERE for her everyday when she has issues with it (kids teasing her at school, etc), but to be honest, some days I just know that I AM CRYING ON THE INSIDE, because it is so HEARTBREAKING to see her go through this. How do you STAY STRONG for yourself, and your child, in this situation? I know I have to accept this; but, I am human too and this is my baby!

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  • .The first thing that came to my mind when I read your question is that your child has something going for her that some kids don’t have a Mother that loves her.There is no time limit on when you have to accept this as you will go through many emotions until or when you do. Just because you are human.If you can join a parent support group it can really help you from being isolated. If there are none in your area,start one. We now have the internet too.Kids in school today have been exposed to handicapped and physically disabled children and are more sensitive today than when I was a child.Mostly they are curious and some are down right mean.Handicapped kids know how to defend themselves thanks to their teachers.Your daughter will teach you in the long run.Kids are very adaptable more so than adults. She has already shown you that she is. Look on her as a normal 11 year old that just happens to have scars that may help you to stay”strong”She still has a mind and spirit and LIFE,in the future she will grow into a lovely lady with your help.Her strength will help you! You stay strong because you have to. Being a part of the handicapped program all I can tell you is how these kids excel with what life has thrown at them.They are my hero’s.My daughter was very close to death. I prayed that she would live. My answer was o.k. she will live but she won’t hear anymore.She was 11 months old then.She has been an Inspiration to me ever since.I became her student in a way. Some doors were closed to her but many good ones opened. I took her to a playground once and sit her on a swing and watched her.Another mother was there and when she saw the auditory trainer strapped to her chest(hearing aid for babies and small kids) The woman had a look of horror and snatched her kid away from her ajoining swing(like her kid could catch something) that hurt but I knew she was just ignorant. I pitied her kid. I never let my child “feel” handicapped. Stressed independance. I also did not make it an excuse when it came time for discipline.Like when she would close her eyes and pretend she could not “hear” me. We both laugh at that performance to this day.She is grown now and will graduate from Columbia University in June. She is and always will be deaf but she sure is smart. Best of all she has a wonderful character.I am trying to let you know there is hope.You can give your daughter the gifts of faith,hope and lots and lots of love.Things that mend a broken heart look to the future and help us all stay strong.And then there are her teenage years to prepare for.
    – Chosen by Asker

  • best thing to do is keep helping her with pain management.

  • Just being there is all you can do. You can’t live her life, and you can’t understand how deeply this affects her. She’ll learn to be strong on her own. These are the tough years, but just keep doing what you’re doing!

  • I’ve been there. I’ll be back later today to add some detail.

    It’s like going into battle. You can’t get too far ahead of yourself. Take each days struggles and face them head on. You and your daughter will steadily make progress.I’m sure there are parents in your local area who have formed contact groups. Do a little research and you’ll find that you aren’t as alone as you think you are. You can lean on each other.

    Sounds like she has a great mother.You hang in there and God Bless.

  • You have my sympathy & you are an incredibly strong women. Stay strong for your daughter. You will both get through this.
    My nephew was autistic but we never thought of him as anything but a joy.
    And growing up, several kids had polio – crutches & wheelchairs in class & everywhere. We never even thought of teasing them. It was just the way it was & I remember being thankful for being spared their ordeal. They always played with us as did the several…retarded, we called them in our day. Never would we make fun of them. I don’t understand how that changed.

  • I GATHER MY DAUGHTER”S STRENGTH………
    She is going blind. I’ve had days when I can’t move because it hits me like a ton of bricks. But every little thing she does with this impairment is a milestone to me!
    The only thing kids have teased her about is that she looks sideways at them (her response: who are they that I have to explain myself to them?), and she has an enormous backpack to carry all of her supplies around in. When I bought it for her, I told her that she may get made fun of for it…. she said”Ooh, I have a big backpack…. is that the best they can do?”

    But above all else, I don’t let her see when it hurts me. She is strong, and can handle it, but if she saw mine and my husband’s sadness about it, it might drain her strength and confidence, and cause her to feel sorry for herself.
    I say, absolutely let your feelings out….. but to a support group, not to her. And every day, when she gets home, tell yourself “That’s my baby girl….. and she made it, strong, through another day!”.
    And give her tons of hugs and kisses!
    The best to you!

    Source(s):
    feelin’ the feelings

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