Grandmother babysits three year old while unmarried father (her son) goes out on the town, drinking and gambling (weekends). He works 5 days a week and sees his son in the evenings three days a week. Shouldn’t the grandmother refuse to babysit, and advise her son to stay home with his son.
8
✅ Answers
🥇 Favorite Answer
I’m on the opposite end of this, and I agree that the grandmother should refuse occasionally. While every parent needs some adult interaction, this father is apparently enjoying far more adult interaction than parent-child interaction.
My ex-husband, through force and money, won custody of my daughter when we divorced 12 years ago. His parents lived right down the road from him, and they babysat almost all the time – when he went to work as well as most evenings and nearly every weekend he had her. He ended up moving my daughter in with her grandparents against my wishes, and despite my best efforts, their money has kept her there ever since – she’s almost 14 years old now. Her dad, never forced to take the responsibility of parenthood (and too bitter to give her to me), moved 5 hours away shortly after she moved in and has stayed there.
THe grandparents have a history of this type of behavior, too – they have raised nearly every one of their grandchildren for at least several months, some for years, like my daughter. And living with seventy year old grandparents hasn’t been easy for her.
While my daughter and I have a great relationship, I see her far, far more than her father does, and they don’t have much of a relationship. They see each other but he is not involved in her life.
This situation is a set-up for disaster for the boy and his dad both. The grandmother should stand her ground and give her son back the responsibility of being a father. It’s time to stop being selfish and spend time with his son, or it could have long-term consequences.
I babysit my grandbaby almost every weekend – because I want my daughter to enjoy her youth and not resent choosing to give birth to her baby. It gives her “teen time” with her friends without the worry of how her baby is doing; and, it gives me something to do! *smiles*
However, there are times when I actually want time to do “grown-up” things w/o the baby; and, my daughter never complains (she either stays home with the baby or takes him to his Daddy’s house – about a 50/50 thing on which she chooses to do when I “take a night/weekend off”).
This is best in our situation, as my daughter was 17 when she had him; and, I know how important it is that she still have some fun as a “regular teen” (being a single parent is hard enough as it is; and, even older single parents need a break from their kids from time to time!)
It really boils down to what works best for The Family. Each family has different views and expectations… The grandmother should do exactly what SHE prefers to do. If that’s watching her grandson, then that’s her business. She may be like me and actually enjoy it! 🙂
Source(s): Personal Life Experience as a grandma who watches her grandson almost every weekend! 🙂
What makes you think the son would stay home?
If the grandmother doesn’t want to babysit she should say so. If the grandmother thinks the son should spend more time with his child she should say so. But these two issues are seperate and distinct, and should be dealt with that way.
Yes. If grandmother doesn’t, the father is bound to find someone else to watch the child and who knows who the child would be left with. I had a child at 17, he is now 10 and I have been single the entire time. My grandparents ALWAYS insist that they be the ONLY ones I leave my son with. I’m glad I had them!
Yes. A person who is a single parent is still a person who deserves to have a good time and to be among his peers. It is good for him and good for the child. He should though, alternate the weekends so that it is not every weekend. He will be a happier father, and that will translate into a happier child. The grandmother should be open to at least two weekends per month.
Source(s): Single parent, now at the age of a grandmother. I had the same problem, and family counselors intervened telling my mother the exact same thing above. As a result, my son and I have a great relationship, and he grew up to be very independent.
It worked!
I would baby sit, if only because I would be a good influence in the childs life.IF you don’t there is no telling where the child would be, because I doubt the son would “stay home” anyway. Just pray for him and enjoy the child.
I do not feel that she should do it for him all the time, and not even on a regular basis. For special occassions, yes. But I feel that raising a child is the parent’s responsibility. If they are not ready to be a parent, and do the things a parent is supposed to do, then they should not have kids.
I agree with the previous comment. Another suggestion is that you should make him pay for babysitting, not just do it for free. He has to take responsibility for his actions, and that means that he shouldn’t impose his actions on other people’s free time without compensating them for it.
Source(s): My brother and sister-in-law take advantage of anyone’s willingness to babysit, and never have paid a dime for it. They spend too much time with their irresponsible party friends, and not enough time reading to their kids or working on their marriage (which is very rocky).