Would you read this book? (And critique it too?)?

The hour was late, the night dark. He had nowhere to go, no place to sleep, and he longed to see his children. Garett had been looking forward to their planned picnic all week, now that would never happen. He looked around, frightened at the smallest sounds of the owls or rabbits that inhabited the old forest.

His mind turned back to his hunting party turned horribly wrong. One minute they had been on a grand chase, following a magnificent beast of an animal. He heard a strange sound, and his world went black. When he woke up, his horse was gone, his men were gone and he was in this strange forest. He had always heard stories of magic and such, but scoffed at the idea of it. Now, the idea didn’t seem quite as far-fetched.

He glanced up and saw something too strange to be in the forest of green and even as his instincts warned him away, he pushed on towards it.

As he crept through the forest, hoping not to step on anything, he came closer to what had been the disturbance, and saw that it was an old brick building. It was run down and crumbling; he knew it must be on the verge of collapse. He stepped out of the bushes and watched a faint line of smoke coming out of the chimney. Ignoring his instincts once more, he thought nothing of strangers or evil. All he wanted was a way out.

He paused, how could he get whoever lived here to help him? Without even a crown to identify him, he would appear to be a poor beggar wandering in the wilderness.

The man moved to knock on the door, but before he had a chance to, the old wooden slab swung open with a loud creek. Its unstable frame caused it to wobble as it swung backwards, revealing an old woman, appearing to be hundreds of years old.

Her long, stringy hair swayed in front of her face, the fraying ends reaching halfway down her back. Her nose slightly curved to one side, centered in the middle of her face. The floral dress that sat limply upon her frail bones was fraying at the ends, and looked to be as old as the woman herself.

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“Yes, young man? What do you need at such a late hour? I’m an old woman, and I need my sleep.” The man almost cringed at the raspy, terrible voice that sounded ancient, but he thought better of it.

“I’m…” He began telling her he was king, but after recent events, decided against it. “I’m lost, I can’t find my way, I need to get home, and I want to see my children again, if only you can help me, please, do you know-”

“Young man, please, if you will just calm down, I can help you.” the old woman cut him off, in his haste at making his point.

“You can? That’s wonderful!”

“For a price.”

“A… price?”

“Come in, come in, we will discuss the issue in the warmth.” Suddenly, the man felt a chill he hadn’t noticed before. He looked up and saw snow falling. Snow in summer? How strange. He followed the woman into her cramped hut, where a beautiful woman sat embroidering cloth. She looked up and smiled at the man. He took a long look at her, involuntarily shuddering. Yes, she was magnificent looking, but she was not pleasing, he could not look at her without feeling cold and hopeless.

“So you see her.”

“The girl, miss?”

“The price you must pay.” The woman had a wicked grin on her face. “You must take my daughter out of the forest. Take her and never bring her back. You must marry her, and make her queen. Or you can starve in the forest and never see anyone again.”


Part here: ;_ylt=ApS_u…

✅ Answers

? Favorite Answer

  • Yes yes yes ! It’s i think a little cliche but……. I’m quiet eager to see what happens next and why the girl is so beautiful yet so cold , does the old women know that he is king ? Could u please post more I want to read the story 🙂 !!! Also I think you should describe the girl further or even the king and also will the king already having children cause problems later on in the plot ?

  • My opinion is better to avoid such books that criticize Islam and its teachings. Islam is the final religion, Quran is from Allah, and Muslims have to follow Quran and Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam’s Sunnah. You read the critical analysis only if you have sound knowledge in Islam.

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  • Ooooo that’s interesting!

    Just add a little better descriptive words.

    Email me the rest of the story it’s really good!

  • I love it

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