A short poem, need your opinion please?

By Rex Cupere

Within the pine,

a dove nests

o’er a spring snow rests

limb bows under the weight

cool, wet, miserable

mother to be waits

soon comes the hatching

renewal created by God.

Update:

Thanks for the opinions and I see were they are useful. The scene happened during the four inch snow here in Missouri and the mother dove looked so miserable but never left the nest. Two little gray hatchlings cover the nest now.

✅ Answers

🥇 Favorite Answer

  • Nature once again renewing herself.

  • It’s lovely! Only suggestion is ‘mother-to-be’

    I like the snow and bows I almost wonder if you could work the word boughs in somewhere.

  • It still needs a fair bit of tuning.

    It has no real magic yet.

    And o’er… ?

    C’mon, that’s archaic….

    .

  • This is a simple yet beautiful poem. I can see how your wisdom shines from the beginning to the end. Thanks for giving this piece to us.

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  • Good start! I want to know more.

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