can this writing be a poem ?

Yes.

Furthermore, it’s fine as it is. Some may want to format it, add punctuation, etc, but that’s up to you as the writer. At the moment I would say the lack of punctuation gives it a certain innocence and intensity, which complements the subject matter pleasingly.

“Do your own dance, write your own poem.”

Poetry can take various forms but always expresses a message in a unique way, often with rhythm or rhyme, so yes, this can be classified as poetry. The style you have written is different, not necessarily free verse, as you have some components of meter patterns. You need to work on

cutting out the rhyme and adding detailed descriptions and use language that creates vivid imagery and feelings to create an effective free verse piece. Or you can simply establish proper stanzas and line lengths to keep it simple.

I have tidied it up for you:

Getting older it gets colder

Hard times on your shoulder;

Waiting for the sunshine to shade over your shoulder

Waiting till the pain

Flies away.

Seeing yourself in the reflection

Of the mirror

Seeing pain dropping down like a star falling down from the sky

‘till it hits the hard ground and

It’s over.

I used to be the one to show love

‘till the time came and

No one showed back the love I gave,

They only showed the hate and the fake smile

On the face.

And they don’t care about your broken heart

Or broken bones,

They only see the trouble not the struggle

And I keep moving on.

On my way to success in my own way

I keep moving like I don’t care

But deep inside my soul

I care.

Hope this helps 🙂

Source(s): Myself.

Yes, however you need punctuation and you also need to fix a few grammatical errors.

Like this:

Getting older, it gets much colder. Hard times on your shoulder, waiting for the sunshine to shade over your shoulder (I would use another word other than shoulder here because it sounds a bit strange). Waiting till the pain fly’s away, seeing yourself in the reflection of the mirror, seeing pain dropping down like a star; falling down from the sky till it hits the hard ground and its over. I used to be the one to show love till the time came and no one returned the love I gave. They only showed hate and fake smiles on their faces, and they don’t care about your broken heart; they only see the trouble, not the struggle, and I keep moving on; on my way to success in my own ways. I keep moving like I don’t care, but deep inside my soul I care.

Yes it could be a poem.

Begin by putting each sentence in a separate line so that you can see what you have written better.

Remove repeated end words.

Do not try so hard to rhyme so that random words are introduced and ruin what the poem is saying.

Correct spelling.

You have a good idea. Refine it and rewrite.

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Definitely

Don’t worry about grammar and punctuation

Most poetry purposefully dismisses those rules

I won’t say it can’t be but it needs some work.

The first thing I’d do is form it into stanzas with line breaks that offer pauses and impact.

Yes pretty good