Does this poem make sense to you?

Okay, so I was in seventh period on Friday, bored out of my mind and I was thinking of things and all of a sudden the sentence “Hello My Love” popped up and I thought “Hmm, I haven’t wrote a poem in a long time so I took out a piece of paper and wrote the words “Hello My Love” then I thought, what would come next and then I thought, “I recently had my heart broken by I boy and I feel like he didn’t like me” so I put. “Yet, you don’t like me” and then I said “Well that doesn’t make sense I said love so I changed and to love and well, I wrote the poem. So here it is, I don’t think it makes sense, I was just writing to write:

Hello my love

Yet, you don’t love me

The wind shakes the tree suddenly

I stand as it flows through my hair

I wait, wait for you but I don’t see you here

Hello My Love

Yet, you don’t love me

I left a note by our special place

Where the moon and the sun meet each day

Black ink, red hearts, My special perfume


Hello My Love

Yet, you don’t love me

The clock struck midnight

The sky pitch black

You didn’t show, but why am I still here?

My Body. Ache. My Feet. Sore

Yet I still stand here, nothing more.

********************************* – Means I couldn’t figure out what to put there.

Of course this Is a rough draft and it still needs work, I just need someone to give me some constructive criticism, tips, etc.

*Please and Thank You*

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? Favorite Answer

  • it’s all very cliche and unoriginal lines make the poem more personal

    Source(s): <–about to graduate college in days with a degree in creative writing

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