How can I earn the respect of my 8 yr. old sis. ? I'm only the sub.?

You can still be her fun sister and be an authoritve figure too. She may need to confide in you about how she is feeling about your mom’s illness, and what it will be like for her when your mother is gone. Ask questions, open up the lines of communication, since she is much too young to do it herself, or even to know how to or that she needs to. Let her know that it’s ok to hurt, and to express that hurt in a productive way, but that the rules of your house apply to her as well as your own children. DON’T back down. Kids NEED structure, even if they resist it, and especially with things as scary and uncertain as they are for her right now, she needs to know that some things won’t change. How can you earn her respect? Show her that you are a constant in her life and you’re not going to leave her. Then show her that she has to respect you, whether or not she wants to. You are in charge of her well-being, as well as what she learns about life and how to behave. Be firm, but loving, and don’t back down from what you say and believe.

Wow. I suspect things will start getting through to your little sis if/when your mom passes away. I am not a parent (yet), but if I were in that position, I think the hard choice would be to give up being the “fun time big sis” altogether. You can’t be both that and the “mom”. Then I supose you’d have to just be the same mom to her that you are to your own children. Good luck!

I was going to answer this question, but I could not say it any better than breanne1010. I agree with her that you should not give up and that even if she fights it, she needs the structure and loves it (it gives constance in her uncertain world). I have two teenagers (19, 18) and they still fight it but they love that I do not give up on them.