I hate my life! I can’t committ suicide because of my beliefs. To sum up my life, I had a crappy childhood- witnessed to murders before age 9. I suffer from PTSD, have been in therapy most if my life. on and iff meds, currently on zolof. I am 34 married and work a pretty decent job. Recently found out ican never have kids due to medical issues.
I don’t make my husband that happy or myself. I just want to disappear and start a new life. I don’t want anyone to know where I am. How can I do that? My second desire would be to just give my life to someone who is dying and wants life. I wish I could donate my entire life. What should I do?
✅ Answers
Answerer 1
Can not add much that has not be said but could not stop myself from becoming involved.
One answerer in his opinion found therapy not helpful…yet some of the insights he states sound
exactly like therapy did work. Sometimes, we have to let go of the pursuit of happiness.
Many dying people would love to take you up on offer. You remind me of a tire. You started out brand new, wore off some of the tread in childhood, plugged a puncture, kept on rolling with new re-alignment job and now need retread job because you are worn down or just flat.
A brand new tire may be your answer. One that forgives the wrongs of others in the past, is thankful for the small things, possibly comes in a pair and wants to get back on the highway
.
Does your job allow you to take time off to reboot? Get away from all your worries for a while.
Ralph Waldo Emerson “It is one of the most beautiful compensation in life…we can never help another without helping ourselves.”
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Answerer 2
I’m truly sorry, Candice. You can’t start a new life. What you can do is change the one you’ve been given, and that’s not going to happen overnight. It will take time, patience, and courage. You may not believe me, but I suspect that you have far more courage than you think you have. You’ve said you’ve witnessed murders when you were nine; you’re thirty four. That’s a quarter century ago and you still try to live. Is that not courage? It has been said that courage consists of endurance for one moment more. I’m not a psychiatrist, but I have been in therapy and, to my sorrow, I have found that most of them were morons…sorry, that’s a subjective evaluation but that’s been my experience. Okay, what I’m about to say may seem simplistic or inane. You may have already been told to do something similar. Try to change one thing in your life for the better. Not completely or all at once, but gradually with effort and time. Sit down at the end of the day and evaluate how it was spent. If you are capable of being objective, it will be a rare day that you can’t list some positive things you’ve done. Making dinner for your husband perhaps. You may think this is commonplace and not worth noting; let me assure you that in today’s culture it is not at all commonplace. In time and with practice I believe you will find reasons to continue to live. The day will come when you may actually enjoy being alive. Since you are willing to give your life to another, you can’t be selfish. Okay, donate your life to a great many others. You may not be able to give your life to one person and stop living (that’s the easy way), but you can make other people’s lives more enjoyable in small ways and feel as if your own is not pointless. I wish we could talk. I think you would be amazed at my history. I don’t wish to sound melodramatic, but much of my life has been filled with emotional pain, and suicide was a temptation with which I dealt many times. Now, as absurd as it sounds, I found within my suffering a great deal to be thankful for. It has given me insight and understanding of the lives of people I meet. It has taught me humility. It has taught me to appreciate the simple things that so many more fortunate people take for granted and never consider blessings. And I have found, if not joy, at least purpose in spending my life trying to help others. If you think your life is hopeless, try working with the dying in the slums of Calcutta. I have. As I’ve said, Candace, you can’t start over, but you can change your life. It will take time, courage, and effort. The first two you have; the last one is up to you.
Answerer 3
Just move to another country and legally change your name so people cannot track you.
However, I strongly think that you should try to reconcile with your husband. Or at least, break up with him properly.
Imagine if you simply disappeared and “left” him there to deal with everything. Imagine how he would feel.