How should I inform Upper Management that I really don't give a rat's hind quarters about…?

Here is my 2 cents

Dear Sir

I sincerely hope that the current policy of promoting brown nosing yes men has its appropriate and predictable consequences in the near future.

I have made a copy of all relevant clients and will be supplying them my own home made video’s of the last years office party unless you would like to consider purchasing it from me

I was always impressed by the leaderships ability to inform the board of directors of our dept’s activities with what could be best described as an exercise in creative writing

It is also my great pleasure to let you know that when you weren’t looking you’re secretary referred to you as tiny which is well documented in the above mentioned and for sale videos

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Just my suggestion LOL

Do nothing. Surely you know upper management doesn’t give a steaming dump about it, either? The whole dog & pony show is just to keep the CO’s all hard and jolly while upper management plans their quarterly “business” trips to Vegas, Dubai, and Moscow (until the new gambling laws really take effect).

I advise you to reach for the flask, take a belt, and go in there. Half of them will be coked up and the other half are still inebriated from last nights romp in the back room of “Mr. Happy’s” bar. Trust me on this: go in there and hitch a ride to Vegas on the company card. Do a dance, shuck and jive, tell them you can increase earnings significantly by introducing new initiatives in a more festive environment. Next thing you know you’ll be chugging comp drinks. rolling the dice, and returning to your room with one or two escorts.

It sounds like it is either a bug bite or a abscess. rub some benadryl cream on it and if it is a bug bite that will help it. If it is a abscess, there is nothing you can do until it ripens and comes to a head like a white head pimple… you need to watch it every day and you will notice a spot on the top gets very soft.. when this happens it is ready to drain, so call the vet. But until you get the soft spot it will do no good to cut into it. abscesses like this are contained in a capsule and do not respond to antibiotics given by mouth or injection until broken open.. After it has broken open or has been lanced you will have to be very careful and take good care of the site until it is healed. I had a mare that had a hugh abscess the size of a watermelon on the side of her withers caused by a gelding that tried to mount her…it got hugh but the vet said to watch for the soft spot… when It came the vet lanced it.. about a 4 in gash on top and on the bottom of abscess… it was so large the vet put her hand in and pulled out dead tissue by the hand fulls… the stuff that poured out was so so awful… I had to put a garden hose.. yes a garden hose into the top hole 4 times a day to flush it out for at least a week and since it was fly season a friend took old sheets and cut them up, hemmed both sides and ran a strip of sheet through the hemmed sides, we put them over her withers with one end in front of her chest and the other side around her girth to keep the flys from getting in and laying eggs … she made about 8 or 10 of these and I changed it every time I hosed the site.. it gave me enough to keep some in the laundry and some fresh… this was the only way to cover this area.. after the mare healed you could only see the 2 4 inch lines where the vet had cut to drain. she was perfectly fine. Good luck and I hope it just a bug bite!

Oh go the strategy meeting…you know you really can work a room.

I suggest you ought to be quite drunk at the time…well…that’s not going to be an issue really…but do make an effort to be particularly disheveled.

Drink bourbon the night before and beer just prior to the meeting…as this combination ought to ensure that your odiferous qualities are most obvious.

Now carry a cocktail shaker INTO the meeting…don’t bother with a glass…you can just swig straight from the shaker….and have some crumpled notes falling out of your pocket…with scrawled insults in red pen…things like “Feck the company and all who sail in her” and “The Managing director sucks shite…and the stock holders willies”.

Now don’t on any account wait your turn to speak. heckle and interject, sexually harass any woman in the room….. and DO make sure you vomit at least once….preferably ON a Senior Manager.

I do believe the entire performance should be crowned by your passing out, full length across the meeting room table…preferably during the central presentation.

That ought to do it. If they don’t understand that…then they just can’t take a hint.

Source(s): Oh…remember to leave your fly undone…and make sure there are plenty of droplets of moisture on the outside of your pants…

In other words…Just be yourself, darling!!!!

(((Nolte)))
NB: I find it very difficult to believe you’ll be able to overlook Trout for BA!
roflmfao!!!

(((((Trout)))))

I think it should be addressed at the Strategy meeting. I find giving that type of information in email seems to get muddled. They are not able to hear the inflection in your voice, and sometimes will not really “get the message”.

I would suggest that you make sure you have had several drinks before the meeting as well. This will really drive the point home to them. Make sure you steal all the snacks too!

(((Nolte)))

Occulty- I *know* that he is always drunk. I simply was saying that I think he should have a few “extra” drinks in him to make it all the more obvious. It would actually be better if he carried the bottle in with him and sloshed a little of it all over the Sr. Managers head…but not too much! Anyway……you get the point!

(((Occulty)))

Source(s): your friendly neighborhood pagan

I’ve always found that lighting memos, and whatever other b.s. work they give you to keep you busy, on fire upon receiving them works for me.

Even if you don’t do it in front of management, word will get around. Make sure to have a devious/slightly deranged glint in your eye the entire time. Smile malevolently as the flames begin to consume the paper.

Don’t say a word to anyone even if questioned. Just act completely taken in by the task at hand. This shows an ability to focus while also showing a disdain for upper management. i.e. your unique set of skills could be put to better use elsewhere. (say as CEO or CFO).

Make sure to have fire precautions ready such as an extinguisher just in case… Remember, safety first!

I would argue that The Company is suffering (and derservedly so, I might add) from low self-esteem because of the miserable wages it pays its trogs. Now, we all want what’s best for the company and wouldn’t want “The Company” to get all depressed and set off the very large improvised explosive device created by Larry from Accounting who just got back from a tour of duty in Iraq. So let’s all just agree that it’s bonus time and that Teh Nolte should be granted an early retirement with a double pension, forthwith, said retirement party to commence immediately. Any more questions?

Just go to the strategy meeting and when they start going on about “What’s best for the company” look at them and say you’d rather have your head bashed in with a Fender Stratocaster guitar wielded by Jimi Hendrix than to concern yourself with such BS. Tell them you have no intention of wasting time or effort on what’s best for the company, that you’re only worried about what’s best for The Nolte and how many liquor breaks you can squeeze in during the day. I’m sure they’ll look at you in horror but if they try to discipline you then take them one by one in private and remind them of all the things you know about them and that you’ll be happy to sing like a canary if they hassle you one bit about it.

Everybody is going the wrong direction on this issue.

You walk into the squirrely guy who is always trying to befriend you, as soon as you enter you let loose of one your alcoholic farts that has been enriched with those boiled eggs they sell in the lounge. When he runs from the room gagging, you simple type your feelings to the management. You will accomplish two task, one your feeling have been shared and the squirrely guy is greeting people at WalMart.

Jobs are hard to come by so do not jeopardize yours.

People with American flags in their avatars are some of my favorites. They are always insightful.

As for your question, I would suggest that you explain you are interested, very much, in what is best for your company. Your ideas of what that is may differ, though. For instance it would probably be in the best interest of the company to leave you alone and allow you to drink heavily, lest you become so irritable that something very bad happens to your boss. I think explaining this calmly and rationally, with an AK-47 draped over your shoulder, should work well.