I’m a 16 year old girl, and I guess I have daddy issues. They never bothered me until recently, and I don’t act out on them ( ie. slutty behavior ) the thing is I have such an empty feeling for a father but not MY father. He wasn’t like a terrible person but he was just so interested in himself and liked other people’s kids better than me. He just literally laid on the couch throughout my entire life and didn’t do anything fatherly or show he cares. I asked my mom to divorce him five years ago when he moved out of state to go be closer to his friends.. The thing that makes it hurt me is that i talk to him once a week but I don’t want to and I know he doesn’t, because i can hear how much he doesn’t care and he doesn’t hear anything I say. I’ve seen him 2 times in the last 5 years and both times it was like I was a show off thing to his new girlfriend ( she’s really nice tho ) I was really sick in the hospital for a few days then had IV therapy for a month and he didn’t sound concerned, and made a big deal when I asked if he could send some $ for my medication ( he’s responsible for health. ) I have no males in my life except an uncle I see a few times a year who is very apathetic and blah. I have such an insatiable yearning to have an older male in my life. I always wares attention from teachers etc. I get jealous of other people’s dads bc I see how much their dads love their children and I don’t have that. I want to feel protected but its too late for that now. The only time I could feel that is if I was in a relationship in the future but I’m scared of being in a ba relationship where I’m not loved or protected bc i feel like the way my dad was might have ruined my perception of other males.. I don’t know what to do?
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Don’t punish other men for the actions of your father. Take this as a learning lesson because you kind of know what traits a future boyfriend should not have. You are not alone, I don’t have any family because I come from a very oppressed culture & I left home. I have huge trust issues & my bf spent the first year of our relationships dealing with most of my issues. We are on our 3rd year & I realize I can’t have others pay for the faults of others in my life & I can’t dwell on the problems & let it take over my life. Be conscious of the issues & you will be able to work thru them one day at a time.
Usually I can help in situations like these but right now I think it’s best to talk to ur closest friends and have them help u and talk to ur mother about the problems too.