Im planning NOT inviting any children to my wedding – do u think this is good or bad?

Hey its your wedding, if you dont want kids there thats fair enough.

There are plenty of couples who don’t invite children to their weddings. It’s not that it’s a good thing or a bad thing, but a personal, individual choice. So long as you and your intended agree on that choice, it’s fine. While I would not have wanted to miss watching the kids playing at my wedding, I understand that not everyone feels the same way or is planning a child-friendly wedding. It isn’t too much to ask.

Make sure you break the news to your sister well in advance so she isn’t shocked when the invitation doesn’t include her children.

As for how she responds, well, you can do what you can to make sure she understands your choice and your reasons for it, but you cannot control how she feels about it. Let her know you love her and love her kids (I’m assuming you do, though I suppose it’s possible I’m wrong), but your wedding is going to be adults only. It is then up to her whether she takes the news in an adult fashion or chooses to take offense.

The simple fact, though, is that it’s your choice and you get to make it to suit you.

Besides, you never know: she might be glad of a day off from the kids. There are some parents who appreciate that once in a while, too.

Best of luck and all joy to you and your intended. I hope you have a long, happy marriage.

Source(s): Miss Manners, Emily Post, etiquettehell.com, three times a bridesmaid, once a bride

HI at the end of the day it is your wedding and you can maybe try and put the suggestion to your sister that you dont want to invite children to your wedding. But be prepare for people to be upset and not be happy and would you want to do that.

I got married in July and I originally wasnt going to have children at the wedding but then when my husband explained to people we got told that the guest with children might not beable to come to the wedding because there will then be noone too look after the children so to keep the peace I just said yes. There was no big deal to it when the wedding came all the children behaved and it was actually better to have them there than not to have them. If you have just started planning you wedding you will find even though it is your day and you are the BRIDE, it all doesnt go our way all the time.

If money is a problem then obviously you have to stick to a budget. God knows what would of happened if we had a budget to my wedding and only wanted a small one, there would of been loads of dissapointed people.

So put accross to your sister that its adults only to your wedding and the children are invited to the reception or the night do. At least then there not exclueded from you wedding all together.

There will be some hurtful answers to your question on here from mums and dads that have children. But it is your wedding and your day, but I would deffianlty refraze how you say NO KIDS, as it comes accross you dont like children at all. At the end of the day if you worring about the children acting up, like I was, on the day they will be brilliant and its even better with the children there. Your day wont be anything like you expected but you will enjoy it.

I am always surprised to see what a heated topic this is!

I am also surprised at how quickly some people are to take offense at someone not wanting to have children at their wedding.

There are a lot of factors going into planning a wedding and a lot of pressures the bride and groom undergo. A big part of wedding planning the bride and groom have to deal with is the financial aspect. It costs money (a lot more than you would expect) for each wedding guest (food, beverages, cake, favors, etc.) A lot of couples have to really budget, cut corners, and limit the number of guests (space is also an issue). Having children attend costs money, it’s not free. Even just suggesting the couple pay for a babysitter for the children and renting an extra room for them, is not always practical or realistic for the couple’s budget.

There is also the issue of how some children may behave during the ceremony and the reception. I have been to weddings where children have screamed, cried, chattered, stomped on pews, etc. during the ceremony…. and often the parents have not corrected the behavior or taken them out of the chapel (or even noticed it because they’re used to it, tuned it out, or were trying to concentrate on the ceremony themselves.) Though, some people find the sounds and behavior of small children endearing, there are some couples who just don’t want to risk having their vows interrupted. That’s understandable. You can’t blame people for that.

Sometimes, there are children you would love to invite, but because there are other children who are terrors, you are forced to make a blanket rule of not having children at all, instead of having to try to explain why some children were invited and others were not.

Back to budget and space… a wedding should be a once in a lifetime event and if you must make choices about who to invite and who you unfortunately have to leave off, I think most people would invite those who they feel closest to and the people who would enjoy and appreciate being there the most… and for some people, children are just not on the list. Or as I said earlier, if some children are close and others aren’t, because it’s such a touchy topic, couples are forced to make a blanket rule regarding whether or not children are invited. Weddings and receptions can be long and tedious for children as well.

There are a lot of things to consider.

And although I’m sure parents would love to have their children invited to the events that you are, it would be nice to show more understanding when their children aren’t invited. There are many factors going into such a decision and it is not a reflection upon you or your family. The decision was certainly not made to offend you.

It has been suggested multiple times that the bride and groom should just go ahead and invite children to avoid family tension. That is one way, I agree, but it would also be fair to ask, on the other hand, that the family members with children find a sitter for their children for one night, so they can make someone they care about happy on their wedding day (a once in a lifetime event.) It doesn’t seem like such a big thing to ask to help someone’s wedding day go smoothly and to ease the enormous stress they’re already under.

Unfortunately, sometimes we have to make tough decisions like this. We have to choose our battles. Maybe it is just easier to go ahead and invite children so as not to offend relatives. And sometimes it’s easier to have your kids stay with a sitter and have a night out, to prevent family feuds (babysitters cost much less than paying for a wedding guest). Family works both ways, give and take – if doing something can make someone you love happy and you are able to do it… just do it.

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I hope you have a wonderful, stress-free wedding. And I am sorry you fear your sister will take offense. Hopefully things will work out much more smoothly than you anticipate.

It’s your wedding, you’re planning it, you’re paying for it. It’s your decision. However, some people even though asked not to bring children, will still bring their kids. Those who are so narrow minded they get offended that they can’t drag their kids with them can just not come. Sad but too bad. I’ve been to many weddings where they’ve indicated that kids are not welcome; it’s not unusual. The kids’ parents just get a babysitter, and can go to your wedding without having to keep and eye on their kids. Big deal. If your sister gets offended, tell her you’ll have a party and include all the kids some other time but for your wedding, you want it to be adults only. You’re going to be making enough compromises after your wedding so you might as well have the wedding you want. If confronted, you could ask them “well, what if you and your husband had to go to a work function (dinner party, lunch with an important client or the boss, party with Brad Pitt, etc.) but you were told that children aren’t invited–would you not go simply because you can’t bring your kids? You have heard of babysitters?”

My daughter got married a year ago and at first we said no chilren except the two flower girls. But the the matron of honour had a baby and another couple assumed that their baby was invited too ! so we said what the hell. In the end their were 3 little girls and 2 babies. ALL were very well behaved , kept quiet during the church bit and speaches. They looked lovely all dressed up and added to the special day after all. Ask all the parents to remove the children from the quiet bits if they start getting noisy, and then trust them and chill.

Children are part of life and they should see the happy days too !

Wow, seems that you have opened a Pandora’s box here – make sure you read the answers carefully….

Sorry, but it’s a horrible idea to not have children at a wedding. Weddings are family celebrations, and should involve everyone – from the two week old baby to great-grandma.

And, sheesh, don’t be so hard on Funky – I would agree with her. I’m an auntie many times over, and would never exclude kids from a family event.

Also, as parents, we would be totally offended if the whole family wasn’t invited to a wedding and would most probably decline attending. How boring a wedding would be without children there!!!

And it’s not YOUR day, it’s the merging of two families, the coming together of husband and wife – a time for celebration of family and friends, all ages.

It’s your day; do what feels right to you. When I get remarried, there will be no children at my wedding. I’m hoping for a more “adult” wedding ceremony, and truthfully, neither me nor my fiancee like children. Your sister might take offense, though. Mine certainly did! You might try arranging a compromise; set up a babysitter to watch the children in a seperate room during the ceremony, and allow them for the reception. Or, hire the babysitter to sit through the reception, too, and set up a children’s reception for them, complete with Disney movies, child-appropriate foods, and games. If I were you, I’d offer to pay for the babysitter, to help smooth things over.

If you plan a very “adult” wedding, such as a wedding in Vegas, followed by dinner at a high-end restaurant, most people will be pretty understanding as to the “no kids” rule.

If you aren’t going to allow children, be sure to hold that for all children…so no children as ring-bearers/flowergirls. The parents who weren’t allowed to bring their children will be rightfully offended if they see that some children were allowed after all.

Just reassure your friends and family that it’s not that you don’t like their children or don’t want to be a part of their lives, because that’s what they will be thinking.

Ultimately, it’s your wedding, and if crying brats aren’t in your vision of the perfect wedding, then politely exclude them 🙂

In the last couple of years, I have been to several weddings where kids weren’t allowed at the Reception. The wedding was fine and the reception they weren’t allowed. I thought it was a great idea. That way, you don’t have to deal with kids running all around, bothering other guests, whining because they are bored, etc. A reception is for adults to have a good time and celebrate with the bride and groom….not deal with allot of disrespectful, whiney kids.

Every wedding I went to that had a No children reception, had a few hundred people. From the guests, it was all positive feedback and a reason to have a babysitter watch the kids so the parents could have a good night at the wedding.

I am getting married next year and the only kids who will be there are my 2 step-daughters & niece (all bridesmaids). Anyone else invited who has kids will only have their names on the invite for the ceremony & wedding breakfast as I don’t really want young kids running around everywhere. Kids are invited to the evening reception though. Our friends/family are not annoyed at all that kids aren’t invited, some are happy as they can celebrate with us without having to watch their kids all the time.

End of the day it is your wedding and guests should respect that

I didn’t want a ton of kids at my wedding either. It was nothing against the kids, but it’s pretty formal and I know kids get pretty board at weddings. I thought the idea of hiring a clown or a babysitter as some places suggested was kind of lame and scary. I did send my invitations to family members (as many of the children were involved in my wedding) addressed as Mr & Mrs and family. For friends and anyone outside of immediate family, I only invited adults. I figured it was a good opportunity for mom and dad to hire a babysitter and have a “date night” that moms and dads don’t get very often!