My 4 yr. old doesnt listen to me? Help?

He’s 4, so he’s able to understand just about anything you ask him, he just doesn’t know how to word it all the time.

The next time he misbehaves, take him into a room, away from his siblings. Then give him a long big hug and just look at him. He will be freaked out. Then ask him why he misbehaved today.

Then ask him why he is always misbehaving. I know that you can’t leave the others by themselves too long, but give him 60 seconds to just talk to you. He needs some attention. He’s not the baby anymore x2.

You all need to have your own thing. Just you and him. Even if it’s putting the shoes in a line at the door at the end of the day.

Just as an example “Hey <kid>, lets go put the shoes in a line. Your older brother’s job is to ____. The twins can’t line the shoes up because they are too little. When they become a big boy like you, maybe they can help. But, this is what WE are going to do everyday.”

Ask him about what he did that day and you can give him is mini conversation and his one on one time.

Do not bribe, continue with time outs but get creative. Start taking TV time, toy time… Talking back is not acceptable. He needs to know that.

Not to worry, this is classic.

The 4 year old is the middle child, and he’s feeling squished. His older brother is hard to compete with, and the younger twins need attention.

Good idea not to spank him. It doesn’t work.

When you say he doesn’t behave, you need to be more specific. Do you mean he throws tantrums? Hurts other kids? Aggressive towards the twins?

I’d suggest a strict routine. Give each child one-on-one time with you every day, oldest one last (because he’ll have more homework and go to bed later).

I also recommend getting rid of the TV. I know you don’t want to do that, but it’s the best thing for the kids and for you.

Other than that, I can’t tell you much because you didn’t provide enough info.

Source(s): I teach Special Ed

You don’t give enough information for anyone to really help you, but I’ll throw out a few things.

1. Consistency. Are you consistent? Do you put the kid in time out every time he talks back or do you just let it slide some days because you are tired fighting with him? Being consistent is important when you discipline your kids.

2. He talks back, so are you arguing with a four year old? Do you find your self going back and forth with the child? Don’t. Tell him he’s going to the chair and put him in the chair. You do not have to argue with a four year old if you are consistent and in control. Nothing frustrates a defiant kid more than not having someone to play the argue game with.

3. Are you in control? Let’s face it this is a four year old and he’s easy to deal with compared to doing this with a fourteen year old. If you can’t handle him at four, well lets just say it’s not going to get any easier. You have handed your power over to someone who is barely out of diapers. Quit taking him out if he misbehaves, he hasn’t earned that privilege. Want to bet he makes all kinds of promises of good behavior after being dropped off at grandma’s a time or two while you and the others head out to the store? So what if he cries? That is just four year old manipulation.

4. Be specific. Don’t say, “I want you to behave in the store.” Say, “when we go into the store I expect you to keep your hands to yourself, to walk like a big boy, and to stay by me at all times.” Tell him if he doesn’t do those things what the consequences will be, the chair, no TV, loses the privilege of going to the store with you. Continue to remind him of what you want him to do as you go through the store.

5. Why would you entertain the idea that it is a good idea to bribe a kid to behave? He is not a trained dog that performs tricks for treats; he is a human who needs to learn that poor behavior is not acceptable. If you have the expectation that he will behave and when he fails that expectation he loses privileges instead of bribing him which only teaches manipulation.

6. Remember that your other kids are watching this go on and they are learning from it. They are learning that the four year old gets bribed when he misbehaves while they behave for no good reason. They are learning that you hand over your power if they argue and pitch a fit. They are learning that it is more important to you that you are not singled out for bad behavior than it is for you to correct bad behavior.

7. Remember to reward good behavior. There is a difference between bribing and rewarding. Don’t offer a reward for good behavior, that is a bribe. Set the expectations, explain the consequences and if the expectations are met, then offer a reward. For example, if he behaves in the store, when you get to the car tell him he gets the window seat for doing what he is supposed to do. Good luck.

Reward him for GOOD behavior instead of constantly punishing him for BAD behavior. Maybe he’s just feeling kind of lost as a middle child and needs some extra love and attention.

Try making a chart and having him put a sticker on it every time he does something GOOD and if he gets say 10 stickers by the end of the week he gets to spend some extra time with you. Do this with your 5 year old also so he doesn’t feel left out.

Also, when he needs discipline keep up with time out and taking toys away. Just be consistent and everything will work out =D

Good luck!

i’m a prekindergarten (4-5) instructor at a daycare and that i’ve got had cases the place i’ve got felt defeated by a confusing baby. some thing that i’ve got got here upon to artwork is the reward gadget. you will desire to make some form of prize if he has a sturdy day. maybe he’d would desire to get 5 stars on a decal chart each and daily as a fashion to get 1 / 4. this provides him some thing to artwork in the direction of. even although 1 / 4 isn’t plenty, little ones at that age do not suggestions. being waiting to earn some thing like that may somewhat turn a baby’s habit around. asserting some thing like, “once you’re making a bad decision, you will not get adequate stickers on your prize at the instant.” provides your son yet another risk to re-evaluate what he’s approximately to do and it exhibits him which you’re actually not attempting to get rid of his prizes. To sum it up, forget approximately approximately undesirable habit and compliment the sturdy habit 🙂 i’m hoping this facilitates!

I have an 8 year old, a six year old and 4 year old twins. I can totally relate. My six year old take up most of my time correcting him. Unfortunately it began when the twins were born and hasn’t stopped since. He is the middle child and I think that comes along with it. Just assure him that he is loved very much. I know it is hard balancing all the love going around, but he just may need it more.

Try to visit some professional. Maybe he’s really feeling like a “black sheep”. You also didn’t mention (as I see) does he have a father. Because he obviously needs some authority. I hope you got what I wanted to say. 🙂

yes bribe him write a bunch of 0’s on a dollar bill so he thinks its a lot

My 4 year old cousin is just like that! Its just a stage. They will grow out of it 🙂

You are screwed…you cant get a good answer about child pychology on yahoo answers..were nothing but a buch of YAHOOS, get it?