My almost 3-year-old is out of control!!!?

Here’s the problem — you’re letting yourself be controlled and victimized by a 3-year-old. YOU are the adult. YOU are in control. YOU decide what behavior is and is not acceptable in your home. The first thing you have to do is stop saying “I don’t know what to do” and start telling yourself “I am in control”, over and over again if you have to until you get the message and get some confidence. Then, remember that kids crave attention — even negative attention is a good thing to a 3-year-old — and they will repeat any behavior that gets them lots of attention. My guess is that when he starts tantruming and screaming, he gets your attention and he knows it works. The best way to put a stop to it is to ignore the behavior. First of all, do NOT let him “demand” things from you. If he says “Mom, get me more juice!”, you should not even look up from what you’re doing — just calmly say “That’s not the polite way to ask” and go on with what you’re doing. He’s 3 — he’s old enough to know the right way to ask. If he doesn’t do it, you continue to ignore him, no matter how much he screams and tantrums. When he sees that his fits aren’t getting him more juice or any attention at all, he’ll stop and ask politely. Works like a charm with my 3-year-old. If he’s ready to give up his nap, there isn’t anything you can do about that, but a little quiet play time in his room in the middle of the day might still be a good idea. At night, if he gets out of bed, you can quietly enter his room and put him back in bed as many times as it takes – no eye contact, no talking, no attention at all — just return him to his bed. Again — when he gets no attention in response, he’ll just start going to bed. Good luck, and remember to stay confident — YOU are in control and you CAN do this!

Well stop paying attention to her when she does these things. By that I mean: She likes time out. Change it. Make her room a toy free environment and use it for time outs. When she acts out take her into her room with out a word, put her on her bed, and tell her to stay there until time out is over. Leave the room. Let her scream and throw a fit, whatever. Toddlers HATE when we can walk away from them or even turn our backs on them. So do it. Show her you are in control and you wont take her fits. Also use your words. Ask her how she is feeling and have her tell you why. When you go and get her from time out talk about it. Use words like “Are you Frustrated?” “Why?” and so on. Open a conversation and take time to listen to her tell you what is going on. Its going to take time! Lots of time. But you can make it! And when you do she will too!

Now… You are following through on your threats- Good Job! Now its time to do some one on one time with her. When she is acting properly PRAISE HER! make a point to get on her level and look her in the eye- hug her and tell her what a great job she is doing at acting like a big girl! Make sure you mean it! She can tell if you are just saying it. Dont stop the praises there! Praise everything she does that is positive, but stop talking about the negative. Other than a gentle reminder that “We dont say shutup.” or so on- but then turn your back.

You might also want to take her out just you and her. Show her how important she is to you by spending one saturday a month with her (and each of your daughters) individually! =) It will create a bigger bond between you all.

Source(s): Nanny 6+ years

How much time do you spend with her during the day? You say that she is doing it for attention. Well maybe you need to spend a little more time with her then you usually do. If you can’t work any more time in to spend with her. Take her on errands with you. Let her help you with supper. Its little things that make a difference. She is also at the age where she is testing her boundaries with you. Some one suggested to me to stop warning my son about time outs. “Just tell him once to stop doing something”, he said. If he does not stop. Just take him away from what ever he is doing and stick him in time out. If you warn her it can take away the power of time out. I stopped warning my son and for him its a bigger deal than it was before. You just have to be persistent with her. You say that you are doing that. That is good. It will take some time for her to stop doing the things that she is doing, I know that it is hard. My son is 4 and still test me. I hope I helped. Good luck!

Source(s): A mommy too.

I am a Mother of 6 grown children, I 16 year old daughter and also a Grandmother of 8, so I am very experienced! Your daughter’s behavior could be from so many things. Make sure she is not watching violent movies or shows like wrestling or COPS or video games that are violent or listening to “violent”, loud and aggressive music that may be stimulating her…Also, make sure she is not eating a lot of sugar and processed foods, especially late at night. Give her apples, grapes, vegetables and other healthy foods. Also, could be she is wanting extra attention and is trying to get it through bad behavior. If I were you I would make some Mommy/daughter time just for the 2 of you each and every day. 30-45 mintues of just the 2 of you doing something nurturing and positive like coloring/drawing, singing songs, playing ball outside or go to the park..etc. Then when she acts up put her in time out for 3 minutes exactly (1 minute for each year of age). If she continues to act out after a week or so of extra special attention, she may have tummy troubles or allergies that are keeping her agitated and irritable, thus troublesome. Get some books on eliminating children’s allergies, like Jenny McCarthy’s who through eliminating certain foods from her son’s diet, cured him of Autism. Most of all though, give her LOTS of hugs and kisses. All children desperately need that and very few get enough. She will be grown up and out of the house before you know it. Also, I have learned that the child who is the hardest to love, needs the most love! Hope this helps!

Terrible twos, and totally typical. I can completely relate. And it sucks. When my first daughter started tantrums she was 8 months old (seriously), and they continued on until the age of 4. Her younger sister is just starting the attitude and she’s just turned 4. It sounds like your on the right track. My best suggestion is to give her your best poker face. Showing her that it’s getting on your last nerve is only going to perpetuate the problem. Stand firm, stop spanking (I used to and now realize it was only teaching them to hit others), stick to the time outs. But, the rule with time outs is that you are not to make eye contact with them during the time out, and definitely don’t entertain conversation. Keep a completely level head, a softer voice (sometimes that can be tough). I believe that they need to explain why they were sent to time out, they need to apologize for their actions, and you need to discuss right then and there what the consequences will be if she does it again. Keep strong, remember this too shall pass. Your doing a great job, after all, it is the hardest job in the world! Best wishes to you.

Haha, that is a 2-year old for you, there really is no fixing it they just go through that stage my daughter did the same thing, time-out didn’t work the best way to deal with this is to spank her and put her in her bedroom until she can calm down, keep repeating this, eventually she will get tired of the spankings and being in her room and she will think maybe i shouldnt do this. It worked for me, hope it works for you too!

Good Luck ♥

Source(s): Spanking your child is not teaching them to hit. Thats why most kids act like brats, because there parents don’t spank them, I’m sorry but if my daughter acts up and throws a fit or does something she knows she shouldn’t, best believe I will spank that butt.20

Maybe you should take a deeper look at the situation. If you are trying to teach her not to hit then why are you hitting her? How do her sisters act? Does she have a father figure in the house? How does he act? How do you act? 3 year old children like to copy so if someone in the house is disrespectful to you she will be to. If someone hits her she will hit others. If someone says shut up so will she. There are a ton of reasons she could be acting this way. Maybe it’s just for attention, maybe it’s a control issue. Have you ever sat her down and asked her why? Hard to diagnose the problem when I don’t know the entire situation. Good luck.

Timeouts and spanking are not working for this child. That’s why. Whatever you are doing you need to drastically change it. Instead of warning her and waiting for her to do it again, you need to move that punishment up to the first time. and maybe it isn’t a time out – maybe it is removal of a privledge or toy. Maybe she needs to earn stickers for good behavior and lose them for bad… there are a million other methods.

You will have to figure out what motivates her and what her desires are. It sounds like it is all about power with her, not punishment. Empower her.

Ignore her when she does something bad dont yell dont show anger just let it go my son was this way too after a couple months of no yelling or punishments now when he gets in trouble he knows it! its reverse physcology… if you want attention your going to do anything for it when the certain someone shows no signs of that attention it will soon make them think hmmm whats the point. after she gets used to you “not caring” when she does do something bad and you scold her for it she will know…give it time be calm i know its hard but it works

give her some time in her room put a gate up to the door way and let her know that she has to stay in there for ten minutes and if that doesn’t work take away her favorite toy amd let her know that she’ll get it back if she acts good