This question ties in with my previous one about my mood swings. Long story short I daydream of a girl I love constantly. Usually they are nice, happy thoughts of her saying yes, or what we could do together. However, more often than not I find myself thinking of all of the worst possibilities and outcomes. Sometimes they’re just simple thoughts of her saying no, which are clearly based off of my natural fears. Other times however, they’re thoughts of just about every bad thing that could ever happen. From her humiliating me to someone getting to her before I do. Other times even, it’s something like the way I look or act. Basically I want to know, why can’t I focus on the hopes and dreams I have of her? Why does my mind constantly stray to the horrible possibilities?
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You sound like you are exhausting all outcomes in order to be prepared for what may happen. Now that you seem to have considered every possible outcome, why not just relax and talk yourself into taking the first REAL step, and approaching her?
Girls respect a guy for at least showing an interest. This is much more attractive than one who watches and waits from a distance, and never gets up the courage to speak. No matter what, she’ll have to respect someone willing to be rejected, (if that should happen). If she’s as great as you seem to believe, I’m sure it won’t be a horrible experience.
Whenever we make a choice, or want to make plans regarding another person (besides ourselves), it will involve our expectations for an outcome….and they run the gamut, as you describe. Having any expectations regarding another person is challenging at best, and very disappointing at worst, even when we know them really well. Until you know something about how she feels towards you. all the time daydreaming is creating a fantasy ..and they rarely live up to what we can create. Dealing with reality is much better in the long run.
Just talk yourself into the fact that doing nothing about it will never get you anywhere…