Will You Read And Rate For Me Please?

When I Was Young

I Made Things Wrong

Mommy Used To Teach Me

And Now I Have Changed You Can See

Nothing Wrong In Error And Trail

You Won’t Be In Prison Or In Jail

Wrong Words, Bad Judges, Heart Breaks

We Were Born To try Not To Do Mistakes

When I Was Younger

Crying From Anger

And Couldn’t Speak

Dying From Hunger

Life Was Harder

And I Was Weak

Nothing Wrong In Learning How To Be Yourself

Don’t Cry, Be Stronger What On The Hell Earth

Don’t Judge Everything He And She Makes

We Were Born To Learn From Our Mistakes

Mistakes Are Lessons We Should Learn

That’s Why We Were Born

What Do You Think? “no rude answers please”

✅ Answers

🥇 Favorite Answer

  • for effort but it needs work.

    I think I’d forget trying a rhyme scheme this is pretty scattered. There needs to be some changes in grammar as well, such as,

    “We were born to try not to do mistakes” Beyond the fact that isn’t true it needs help

    Or

    “Don’t cry, be stronger what on the hell earth”???

    Certainly it can be improved upon.

  • You have jumbled everything by repeating the same thing in a different way.

    Everything in capitals is not good.

    It seems you were trying to be philosophical but you don’t quite know how to word things.

    You’re trying and that’s what counts.

    Take the corrections you have been given and work with your poem.

    Maybe try another subject. I don’t think you quite understand what you have tried to write.

    See also  Can you C/C a scrap of paper possibly by Wire Twerp?
  • Which do you want? A polite answer or the truth?

    I like the message and despise the poem.

    Source(s): Nothing more I can say without being rude.

    Aka, Likka says, remove the poem and write something else and you have a perfect poem, minus this one.

  • uh.. young and wrong do not rhyme. It does not move smooth for me. Sorry.. There is potential, but it needs to be edited. I like the theme!

  • Lose the capitals, change the rhymes and theme and make it work and you’d have a perfect poem.

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