What do you think about the following scene? Does it appeal to you? Is there anything you would add/ take out to make the story read better? Im horrible at describing actions and emotions? what do you think about the ones I have in place? Feedback is greatly appreciated. Examples and suggestions??
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” After the loss of the baby, things just went down hill for us,” she sighed as she crumpled the napkin between her fingers.
” Do you think about that day often?” He asked gently, placing his hand compassionately over hers awaiting her response. She met his gaze steadily from across the table.
” Everyday,” She breathed, removing her hand from his to wipe away the tears she was certain would fall at any second. “That day changed everything. Sometimes I regret it.
” Regret what?”
There was a list of things Peyton regretted. She stared out the window. “getting pregnant,” She whispered. Her eyes flickered to his before she dropped them to her plate in shame. “I’m a horrible person, aren’t I?”
“I didn’t think Id ever be that person who was naïve enough to believe having a baby would have change things between us, but I did, and now I wonder why. To be honest me and David and I were never as stable as we fooled ourselves to be. Did I want to bring a child into that? But then there’s this part of me that-
“Just grieves for the child you lost” he finished for her.
“Yeah ,I just wish things could have went differently, that things between David and I were different.
Michael simply nodded his head, taking it all in. “You’re not a horrible person Peyton.
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? Best Answer
The story sounds real good, you may be an author one day.