Do you think im being selfish?

Yes, you are being horribly selfish.

3

Hiya, its a difficult situation as you have bought the dresses, but maybe it was the comment “fat and pregnant in my photos” that got peoples backs up.

My friend (also my bridesmaid for next year) wants a baby more than anything but her partner wants to wait til they have their own house etc and him get through his training course.

She text me the other day wanting to know the date (again lol) cos she is trying to work a baby around the dates. It sounds worse than it is when I thought about it I know how much a baby means to her. I havent ordered any dresses yet cos I only need 12-14 weeks notice for the shop. If she did happen to be pregnant I would still give her the option of being a bridesmaid or stepping down. Plus the range of bridesmaid dresses Im choosing does a maternity BM dress which would come in the exact same colour as the rest and actually looks quite elegant. Providing she wasnt ready to Pop on the day I dont see why she can’t still do it. Id just point out that its a summer wedding she’ll be on her feet and it will be hot. I understand you have bought the dresses but she could buy her own, you could go with her. Depends how important you friendship is. Plus everyone is going to be looking at YOU! The beautiful Bride! Have a rethink. x

Source(s): Same thing could happen to me. Please see website:
http://www.foreverbridals.com/gownpix.asp?Style=77…
Do they really look that bad? I think they are pretty.

I think the way in which you addressed the situation was rude and a bit selfish.

Okay..it’s understandable that you want her to have a good time and I can understand that you don’t want to look at your wedding pictures with her being pregnant forever.

However, it almost seems like you are penalizing the person you call your best friend for getting with child–regardless of how long she’s known the father. You really should’ve sat down and talked to her about it as opposed to just being kinda insensitive and rude to her. She’s supposed to be your best friend and I’m sure she expected your support and understanding and she even proposed on buying a new dress to alleviate some stress off of you, but you brushed her off and seems like you treated her pretty badly.

You need to step back from the situation and the whole wedding planning thing and take a look at it all again and at your relationship with your friend because you don’t sound like you’ve been a very good friend to her.

Tough call. If it weren’t for the fact that she’s had complications w/ her previous pregnancies I would say yes, you were being selfish. Especially since she offered to pay for her new dress, being pregnant and fat are definitely two different things.

However, since she has a history of complications with her pregnancies I can understand your being worried that she might not be able to be a part of your wedding when the time comes. It would be tough to get someone to take her place last minute is she ends up on bed rest, or just can’t stand for the ceremony due to problems w/ her pregnancy.

I would talk to her some more and tell her you would love to have her as your maid of honor, but you are concerned that she may have complications w/ her pregnancy like she did in the past, which would put you in a real bind.

Good luck w/ everything.

I think you are being very selfish. If the pregnancy is the only reason why you don’t want her in the wedding, then yeah you are being selfish. A woman being pregnant is a beautiful thing. So what if she is a little heavy from being pregnant, you will always be able to say that the first wedding her little one went to was yours. I would let her or you buy another dress and welcome her into your wedding party. Pregnancy is a fact of life and something that should be joyous not a hinder.

Source(s): btb
05/30/

I’m terribly sorry, but I do think you need to re-evaluate the situation. If my matron of honor told me she was pregnant and due around my wedding, I would be very excited for her. It’s a joyous event! Since the maids purchase their own gowns in the US, I would be the first to offer to buy a new dress for the gal that would fit her.

She is your friend and probably a very good friend to be considered for maid of honor. I really think you need to apologize to her and see if she is still willing to participate in your wedding. She offered to buy another dress that will fit her and they do have some lovely maternity gowns available these days! She’ll look stunning. Please don’t lose a friend over this event.

She will not be “fat”! I think you’re being incredibly selfish. She even suggested buying a new one. What big deal is it, if she’s a good friend (since she’s your maid of honor, I figure that she is) you should be happy with her that she’ll be pregnant. I could understand if she was going to be a high risk pregnancy, she could be on bed rest. If you really think she should not be a bridesmaid, you could at least give her some other role in the wedding to keep her included. She just found out she was pregnant and was probably really looking forward to telling you and you just cut her out of her spot in your wedding!

Source(s): ~*b2b 6/14/08*~71

Hi there, i think it’s your wedding, and it’s your choice. i was bridesmaid at my best friend wedding, when i was seven months pregnant. She said that morning, that i was glowing, and would out shine her( which was a load of rubbish because i’ve never seen anyone look so beautiful as her that day!) but she said she’s so pleased i was her bridesmaid as she got that record of us together in that time. Your friend is carrying a little miracle and that can only add to the beauty of your wedding, so i do think your being selfish, your being silly cutting out such a beautiful thing from your wedding party. Good luck hon. I hope you have a smashing day. xxx

I understand that you want your wedding to be “perfect”. You did not plan on having a pregnant bridesmaid in your wedding. I guess you should ask yourself if her being a bridesmaid while she is pregnant going to ruin any aspect of your wedding. Pregnancy is a part of life, and you will probably be experiencing it yourself in short order. Pregnant women should not be excluded from things like they were in the 70s; we have hopefully grown as a society in the last 30 years. I would be hurt if I was your friend. I guess I would suggest letting your conscience lead the way. Most people with taste and class would not look at her like she is a fat pig, they would see her a woman who is expecting. Period.

What a bad friend you turned out to be. You don’t want her all fat in your pictures? Selfish does not begin to cover what you are deary. Just tell her that you don’t want a fat cow in your wedding pictures so she wont’ be confused into thinking she let down a friend. Shame on you and I feel sorry for your poor future husband to have such a cold hearted and shallow person for a wife.

You are being EXTREMELY selfish. What is up with women thinking that because a friend is pregnant she can’t be a bridesmaid?! That’s ridiculous. SHE’S YOUR FRIEND!

I think you will be lucky if she still wants to be your friend after how rude you were to her.

Your friends are not accessories, they’re there to stand beside you as support.

EDIT: Stick to one story, first you say you don’t want her in your pictures because she’ll look fat and now you are saying it’s because you want her to have a good time and not have to stress… Choose your story and stick to it.

BY THE WAY… LEARN TO SPELL PLEASE! Your spelling and grammar are atrocious!

Source(s): BTB 29 and would definately keep a friend in my wedding party if she was pregnant!