Hello,
Wondered if anyone could offer me some advice.
I separated from my partner of nearly 3 years a few weeks ago and this was due in main to him not being fully committed, he sees it differently and says i should be patient and live life for today. We have both come out of marriages 4 – 5 years ago and both have children from our previous marriages. It has taken me a great deal of strenght to finish the relationship and I suppose wanted to see how much he loved me. Today he arranged to come over mine and we have agreed to remain friends. I was ok about this until I saw he had a ring on his left hand. I asked him where did he get the ring from and before he answered I asked is that your old wedding ring? He said it was but not what I think! He stated that it was a reminder of his children. I felt so angry that over the last couple of weeks I have been grieving over him and he puts his old marriage ring on (his marriage ended 4 years ago) I accused him of still having feelings for his ex and regret of that lost marriage and I also told him that I felt betrayed and alarmed that he was wearing his old wedding ring! He was still getting over his ex when we meet and I thought he was finally over her about 2 half years ago.
What do other people think? Am I making a big deal of of this…I would welcome your thoughts at this totally confusing, distressing time for me.
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Well, you broke up anyway, so I’m not sure how much you should let it bother you. I’d be pissed, too, though, and wondering what had been running through his mind while we were together.
It is pretty weird to put on an old wedding ring (particularly when there’s been another marriage since) for any reason other than getting remarried to the same person, or re-engaged to the same person.
I don’t know what to tell you, since there’s no way to go back in time and have him rethink that move. I do think it’s best to spend some time completely apart before attempting to have a friendship, though, since everything must be very raw right now.
Its really annoys me when people just say ..”Get over it “. I mean if we could all just “get over it” we wouldn’t be posting questions or asking for opinions and advice….Its much easier said than done.
The fact is you only split up 3 weeks ago, I would feel the same way as you do. People don’t wear wedding rings from their ex’s that’s just weird. You have every right to feel upset.
I think though when people break up, unless there are children involved, its best to cut all ties. In my experience the friends thing never works out, its just too hard to stay friends with someone you have been in love with.
he’s your ex, what does it matter what he does now?
if you’re only his friend in the hopes that you will be with him again then end the friendship and work on getting over him. your entire relationship you suspected he was still hung up on his wife and you saw that he wasn’t interested in fully committing to you. you’ve ended the relationship because you want more than just “living for now”. He’s put his ring back on, you now have solid confirmation that he would never have committed to you because he was still hooked on his ex.
distance yourself from him and work on getting over him. Don’t do to your next partner what he did to you.
I’m giving you confirmation that you weren’t crazy and you were reading the situation correctly. Now that you know, it’s time to move on.
Good Luck.
Regardless of how you feel, there is nothing you can do about it. Don’t question your feelings. You feel what you feel and you probably can’t control what you feel. But if he insists on doing that and if it bothers you that much, then I would resolve things with him quickly. Give him back his stuff that you have, and get back your stuff that he has and then go cold turkey. On one hand, you can’t ask him to not wear that ring. But on the other hand, if it bothers you that much, don’t be around him.
If he wants to see you and you are agreeable, ask him to take off the ring before you see each other. But frankly, from what you describe, I would advise against that. Kaia’s advise is good. You need to move on.
Source(s): Good luck and God Bless.
When people lie to themselves, things like this happens!!!! Both of you are full of crap trying to play this friend thing. Your not being honest with each other!!!! he trying to make you jealous and you want him back and your trying to act like his friend when it is clear that you still have feeling for him or you would not care where that ring came from. friend do not have the right to question me like a girlfriend does. if you are going to be his friend, act like one!!! your acting like his girlfriend still!!!
It’s too early to play that “let’s be friends” game. You are still too tied up in the emotions from your relationship.
If he’s your ex, get over it. He gets to wear whatever silly jewelry he wants to. You get to wear whatever jewelry you want to.
Yes, you’re making a big deal of it. No, he isn’t over his previous marriage. Yes, you need to get over him.
lots of women especially wear rings and so forth from their previous marriages….simply because they like the rings !!!! It doesn’t mean anything.
I think it’s time to move on.
whether he is over his ex or not shouldn’t be your concern. he is over you and you need to get over him.