Would it be a lot less painful to arrive at work if I had the ability to enter my office in slow motion…?

by

…with a flamethrower in one hand and a flask in the other, while the intro to Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man” played in the background?

Or would this not even remotely alleviate the sting of having to review 3 dozen thick-*** Union Grievance files?

Update:

*winks at Major*

Update 2:

Captain, as always, you never fail to entertain. I think I love you….

7

✅ Answers

? Favorite Answer

  • LMAO!!! Hey Nolte, while you got that flamethrower out, can you pass it here so I can take out Verizon Wireless AND their whole circle of lame friends? kthxbai. 😉

  • I don’t know what a Union Grievance is, but I can tell you this.

    Flamethrowers, Black Sabbath, and a flask make anything better. Take for example the “Flaming Iron Flaskman” remix of the 1992 single, “Under The Bridge” from the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

  • I’d like to see you get a spiritual haircut and a shave, to be totally honest. Your rancor for your coworkers is being entered into GOD’s Excel spreadsheet. HE keeps track of these things.

    P.S. Your comment about Black Sabbath just goes to show HOW FAR you have fallen into the Abyss that precedes the Abyss of Hell. It’s a kind of pre-Abyss. An abysmal ante-room for Hell, if you will.

    P.P.S. I’m starring this so my contacts can come here and give you the Good News of Christ, who died on the cross for our sins (yours and mine), hallowed be HIS name, in the kingdom to come, HIS will shall be done, on Earth (and in the air), as it is in Heaven, AMEN.

    God Bless you-

    Captain Art Griego

  • I agree Black Sabbath, a slash, and a flamethrower ALWAYS make anything better.

    However it would be even sweeter if you could get your own kick@$$ band to play it live.

    I’d pay to see that show.

  • Ahem… may I humbly suggest a 50 caliber machine gun shooting tracer bullets? You’ll want that feature after all the lights have gone out… just trying to think ahead.

    Source(s): Pssst! Don’t look now, but I think the Captain is flirting with you again…

  • Dunno about that, but what a hell of an entrance that would make! I sometimes think I could handle dementia patients better if I was permanently in a chemical fog!

  • <looks around nervously>

    I think I’ll take my lunch right about….now!

    • Leave a Comment